Dear Moxie: I am in sales, but I hate networking. I know I should, but it seems so fake. What do you suggest I do to make it feel authentic?
Networking isn't something everyone loves. In fact, most people are really rather shy and aren't able to break into new groups easily. Plus, when we see the proverbial sales person schmoozing it may make our skin crawl. What is a person in sales to do?
My first suggestion is to join one group that is a good fit for you personally. It may not be the best fit professionally, but we will get there. If you are into service, join your local Rotary. If you like sports, join an intramural team. Do you get your kicks doing yoga? Go to a class.
The first step is to get comfortable in a group, get to know the folks in the group and start making real connections with people who also like what you like. The key to this is to go alone. I know, scary, but if you go with a friend you are probably going to sit, workout, or just hang out with that friend. Completely defeating the point of being in the group in the first place.
Now, remember, you aren't there to sell them anything. You are there to work on your skills at meeting new people, getting involved, and making friends/connections.
After you have started with that one group it is time to move onto the conference or business networking possibility. Probably the most dreaded of networking moments you have had. They were either filled with people flinging their business card at you or you sat alone in a corner. It doesn't have to be that way. I promise.
Go to the conference and make yourself talk to people you don't know. Bring 25 cards and make the deal with yourself that you are going to meet 25 people and give them your card. It is as easy as saying hello, asking them about themselves (people love to talk about themselves, leaving you the opportunity to listen and learn, and asking them for their card. When they hand theirs to you, you hand one back. (I told you this was pretty easy stuff, even for introverts.)
If there is lunch, sit with people you do not know. Sure, it is easier to sit with people you do know, but you can go out with them another time, this is your chance to get to know someone else. And again, ask about them. People really do love to tell their story and if you ask a few easy starter questions they will get the ball rolling. Sure, they may not become your bestie, but that isn't the point.
Most business, if not all business, is mostly about who you know. Period. I wish it wasn't that way, but it is. You can sit around an feel depressed because you don't have Harvard connections, know someone who is a CEO or have celeb's on speed dial, or you can get to know the people in your industry and community.
Don't think of any of this as selling. What you are doing is learning to expand your personal boundaries and letting more people in. You never know who your next contact or connection will come from and the time spent expanding your network will only help you in your pursuits.