MoxieWorks

Tone Matters in Email 5 Rules To Remember

It seems to me that after 20 years of folks using email I wouldn't have to write a post about tone of voice, but it comes up - still - too often. How you say something is just as important as what you say. Let's review what to say in an email and how to say it.

Rule #1: If you would not say it in person, do not email it. Period. No excuses. Email is supposed to be YOU and if you are saying things online that you wouldn't say in person because you are more credible in person, a jerk behind a screen, or just just chicken shit - don't send the email. Ever.

Rule #2: If you ARE writing an email and you aren't sure who is receiving it or how they will read it, sit on it for at least an hour. You do not have to send everything immediately.

Rule #3: We are all rushed, but don't be rude. It takes minutes to write a few sentences and those words might soften the blow of a curt yes or no. Take the time.

Rule #4: Use LOL, emoticons, or other indicators if you aren't sure they know you are kidding. Email never reads as funny to the reader. Ever. YOU may think it is obvious you are joking, but the reader can't tell. I swear. They can't. So loose your hatred of the smiley face and add it. Really. Your reader will thank you - even if they think you are a silly 13 year old girl sometimes.

Rule #5: Pick up the phone. If you DO have something a bit more harsh to share, pick up the phone and just say it. YOu are a big girl or boy and can put on your big kid pants and deal the harsh news in person. Sure, you may like to hide behind email, but the other person deserves you acting like a grown up. Be one.

Having trouble with tone? Ask a friend or family member to read it before you send it. Still not setting things right with your contacts? Email me and let's see what the problem might be.

Working Within Your Personality

Last week I was working with a client, analyzing her team informally. I had suggested some reservations about one team members get up and go speed. She quickly said that it was ok, because that employee is a Beaver. She went onto explain that the DiSC system of understanding personality includes Beavers which are analytical, self-disciplined, industrious, organized, aesthetic, and sacrificing. Her industrious spirit and the need to have all the tools in place to get started were ok for her.

That got me thinking about what I needed or who I was. After taking the short test on the Tony Robbin's site it shared these ideas about dealing specifically with me: 

• Things to do to effectively communicate with Jacqueline:
  • Ask 'what' oriented questions that close the issue or topics.
  • Don't get off the track and talk about other issues or items.
  • Provide immediate incentives for willingness to help on the project.
  • Free-up enough to be engaging, stimulating, and fast-paced.
  • Provide testimonials from people seen as important and prominent.
  • Ask for input regarding people and specific assignments.
  • Put the details in writing, but don't plan on discussing them too much.
• Things to avoid to effectively communicate with Jacqueline:
  • Avoid making guarantees and assurances when there is a risk in meeting them.
  • Avoid rambling discussion and wasting time.
  • Don't stick too rigidly to the agenda.
  • Don't 'dream' too much with the team or you'll lose time.
  • Don't talk down to anyone.
  • Be certain all decision-points have reached closure and action-plans are the result.
  • Avoid getting bogged down in facts, figures, or abstractions.

All pretty right on, there is a whole lot more. In fact they send you a 22 page document. After spending years in corporations and doing a tremendous amount of training on all kinds of workplace ideas I wonder if, in smaller businesses and on volunteer teams, it would be helpful to spend a little time learning about how other people work. Granted, I wouldn't want to hold to rigidly to it, but if I had a better understanding of X and Y I might be able to work more effectively with them. If I could get clients to take the test that would be even better because I could meet their needs more effectively.

To take your own test you can go here: http://www.tonyrobbins.com/ue/disc-profile.php

This Innermetrix Disc Index is a modern interpretation of Dr. William Marston's behavioral dimensions. Marston's research uncovered four quadrants of behavior which help to understand a person's behavioral preferences. This Disc Index will help you understand your behavioral style and how to maximize your potential. - Tony Robbins