Yesterday my husband looked at me and asked when it gets easier. My answer, it doesn't. This is just life. We were hit last week with some pretty difficult news, we are in the midst of home improvement projects trying to do them with the tiniest of budgets and everything that can go wrong has, and we are just making it financially.
But I told him that this is it. It is how we handle this. It is how we adjust to the changes that come our way. It doesn't get easier - it just continues to expand.
Then we talked about how some people (me) can deal with things as they come up easier, and others (him) are weighed down by it all. How it spins some people into a state of depression, angst, or freezes them into panic. I get there too, but I think that if I just keep putting one foot in front of the other I can get through anything.
The good part about growing up in a really (and we aren't just saying the words here) dysfunctional family is that you have AMAZING coping skills. The good part about doing some of the work around that families issues you get to develop even BETTER skills. And if, like me, you are continuing to do the WORK you are continually growing - things come up and they are not things I run away from they are things to respond to.
Granted, those crazy ninja like skills I have were won with battle scars and I don't wish that on anyone, but I see how they have served me well over the years. When I had the moment yesterday and my head hit the fridge as I was making the grocery list, realizing that a lot of weight was on my shoulders I was able to straighten up, breathe, and let that feeling just run through me. I didn't panic. I just listened to it.
Life is hard. I am not going to kid you. It is hard whoever you are. Rich, poor - you can't run away from life hitting you in the face over and over. I know it is easy for us with less financial resources to sometimes think that more money would solve the issue. But I know that isn't the case - sure it might make the stress of not having go away a little, but life will still hit you over and over. The lesson is how we breathe into it.
Photo Credit: InkDesigner
