Are you willing to drop your story about another person long enough to experience them how they really are? I know, big question on a Sunday morning. The other night I was talking to my husband about why he and his sister don't talk. Long story, short, is that she has a story of what my husband is like (and he has one of her, but I didn't mention that) and so they can't see each other for how they really are.
I see this in my small town all the time. People are willing to commit charachter assasinations of other people - about things they don't even know to be true - to continue the story they have of someone.
You may know that as gossip. I think it is more then that. It allows us to keep our version of what is true real. But it isn't real.
Sure, maybe Sally Sue was a bitch a few years ago at a meeting you attended. And you have this picture of her as a complete bitch in your head. When you think of her you see her just clawing the face off another person... but maybe, and really this isn't a stretch, maybe it was a bad day. Maybe she just got off the phone with the cable guy and he wasn't going to show up, her kids weren't listening to her, her boss told her she wasn't dressed nice enough - who knows. So at that particular meeting she wasn't nice. So, yes, she can be a bitch - but is that REALLY all there is to her?
I don't think so.
If we could drop our stories about each other and experience each other in that moment maybe we would find something new.
Granted, I am not advocating abusing ourselves. If Sally Sue really is horrible, and she continues to be mean to you and others you probably have her pegged for that moment and you can be rational about how often you deal with her. Although - please give her the ability, even if only in your mind, to be different. It might just be a bad moment.
Drop your stories. Experience people like they really are. Wow, what a concept.
Flikr Photo: FarshadPix
