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I am traveling for work in Tupelo, Mississippi - and this folks is the South. Last night we had a reception in a car museum that also, because I believe it is required in the South, had a display dedicated to confederate soldiers. Nice. The event also had... Elvis, because ladies this is the birthplace of the King. And that - that is a cool thing.
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Last night we were sitting on the couch decompressing from our stressful weekend when out of the corner of my eye I notice that our cat, Emmy, is playing with something behind the door to the porch. The door is open because we have been painting it for the last two weeks and because the weather has been phenomenal.
I watch her for a few seconds when I see a snake slither out from behind the door on to the porch.
"There's a snake on the door frame."
"Where?"
"On the door frame."
This was not calm... this was two people who grew up in Southern California and then lived in the Bay Area trying to figure out what to do with a snake in their house. In the house... that we live in... where we sleep.
Ozark living - it is like no other place. I swear that in our 114 year old house I am just beating back nature, and obviously not winning.
The week before there was a huge spider crawling across the floor. Usually, we will move them out, but this was moving fast and my husband smashed it with his hand - only to have a hundred baby spiders jump off its back.
It was like a freaking science fiction movie. Creepy.
I finally looked online and it was a wolf spider. See photo - not of our spider because we weren't in a photographing mode. They carry their children on their backs... good to know. Next time we are swooping any spider outside.
Or maybe, just maybe, there won't be another spider and I can have my house to myself. Ha!
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I read a lot of blogs in Google Reader - hundreds... skimming and reading. I wish I knew an easy way to share ALL the goodness with you, but I don't or haven't figured it out so I will just share three at a time.
I love awards. Awards for all things. I think that is why I am so enamored with Girl Scouts - those super cute badges (which they are getting rid of). Anyway I found these Awards for Nothing from Sweetie Pie Press:
"for over a year now, i have been percolating awards for nothing, a button-based gallery project that addresses some of these concerns by illuminating scrappy detritus and converting it into markers of worth."
For those of us looking to stay inspired A Beautiful Mess shares some of her tips.
"I learned the value in having some comfort music to get me into work mode. This is especially valuable for people who work from home. Sometimes you need something to mentally put you into a creative state of mind and a playlist can most definiately do that for you!"
And finally, I don't travel much (although I am going to Tupelo on Monday!) I love the idea of cases made for different endeavors. I need a working event case, a going to see my daughter case, a walking around case... it would be so cool! This one is a travel craft case that makes me envious with joy!
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Helping Me Help Myself: One Skeptic, Twelve Self-Help Programs, One Whirlwind Year of Improvement by Beth Lisick
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
I read a lot of this currently hip genre - doing some project each month for a year and then writing about it. It is, apparently, what GenX slackers like myself like to do and then write about. I am totally drawn to this - it fits me perfectly with my project driven life.
Beth Lisick tries a new self help thing each month for a year - she thinks that it might be a better resolution then learning how to do the splits. Seriously, that is her thinking. She has never bought a self help book and she is really skeptical of the journey.
Her first steps are with Jack Canfield, who is the father of a friend of her husbands, Stephan Covey, then John Gray (Venus Mars guy), Suzy Orman, and so on - the top of the field and yet not really cutting edge in the world of self help. Kind of like that A list from 1990 - which as a GenX might be where she felt comfortable.
She goes to seminars, tries an organization session, writes morning pages, samples a parenting theory, goes on a cruise with Richard Simmons - but what is missing is that although she is testing all these things out she is so skeptical. She doesn't dive in fully, in fact she can't put a name badge on to say she belongs with the group until month 4 and even then it is a stretch.
So, why do this? Why try to work with the top players without deciding to fully immerse yourself. Ok, I am jealous. Totally. I would have done this with total immersion like I was trying to learn Spanish. I would have done every exercise, jumped in with both feet, and knelt at the feet of these gurus... if I wanted to really do it. And that she didn't do that is a story, but not the story I really wanted to read. I wanted her to drop her cool, aloof skepticism and her narrative of why she couldn't do that and just do it.
It was fun like taffy is fun, but it wasn't rich like cheesecake is rich - and I guess after reading so many of this genre I want more.
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I know that everyone is writing 9/11 memories today and that maybe I am supposed to feel a certain way about that day, but in my heart I know that this memorial is just another way to justify war. I am truly sad about all of those that died in the carnage that happened that day.
I am sad about the parents who went wandering looking for their children in New York.
I am sad that anyone is growing up without a parent.
I am sad that we took a horrific moment and used it to justify two wars in countries that had nothing to do with the day - killing many many innocent civilians, our own soldiers, and fighters on every side.
I am sad that we use death as a way to puff up our patriotic feelings.
I am sad that many bought into the fear of the other because of this day - when really, the far extremists are small in number.
I am sad that when President Obama did finally get Osama Bin Ladin that we didn't dance in the streets and barely seemed to nod a curt thank you his way - he GOT the bad guy... which I thought was the point.
I am sad that we didn't use all of this as a moment to not "shop" as then President Bush told us to do and instead learn compassion and understanding for those that are different then us.
I am sad that many of my personal freedoms have been taken away in the name of fear.
I am sad that we celebrate, commemorate, and justify any act of violence.
So, mostly, as people talk about bravery, acts of terror and the children of 9/11 - I am turning off the radio and TV and am instead focusing on the healing power of love and understanding as I believe it is the only way that we learn from any tragic moment. No blame, not getting lost in memories that bring up fear, and not continuing to justify what we have done since. No, this day, as every other day, is dedicated to kindness, understanding and love - I hope yours is as well.
Photo Credit: Three of a much larger series of photos taken by Chris Wolven and Thomas Schenden in and around Fullerton, CA in 1982.
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There are times in your life where everything becomes really real. When all of the facade and pretense just drop away. Unfortunately, I think most of those times are when we are faced with tragedy and crisis, but maybe that is evolutions way of making us grow. Those trees don't get strong just by standing there - they need to withstand weather and wind!
On Thursday night we were working on our porch project which had been very delayed due to me getting sick and the amount of prep that needed to be done, but at 7:35 we had been painting away on the last wall when the call came in.
Our daughters old boyfriend and good friend called to say that she had an accident and that she was on the way to the emergency room.
My husband heard from the porch and immediately cleaned up our work mess, got changed, and we closed up the chickens and were on our way to the ER.
The fastest, scariest, most terrible drive in my life. We live an hour from the hospital she was going to and it is all curves, hills and two lane roads - not where you want to be driving when you are in an emergency. My husband drove like the wind although that scares the crap out of me - but he knows the road perfectly and got us there in 45 minutes.
We arrived to room 10 and she was lying there with tubes in her arms, mascara looking like a racoon, and sticks and grass all over her sweater. Her friend from junior high had also been called and had been there with her the whole time - arriving before the ambulance even.
And also a woman - a woman who had seen the accident while driving with her daughter in the car. She had stopped to call 911 and it was she who had called our daughters friend to tell him what had happened. She had gone home, picked up some snacks, and had come back to the emergency room to wait with our daughter until we arrived. She was worried that she would be alone and dissoriented and wanted to make sure she was ok.
When we arrived, scared and stunned, the woman explained what she and her daughter had seen. Our daughter had been riding her bike home - a retro 1974 Schwinn road bike that she just had refitted with new wheels, chain, brakes, the works - when she either stopped to fast or hit the curb and went flying over the handlebars and landed on the curb with her face and head. No helmet. The perfect storm of circumstances to lead to a crushing accident. She had been concisous for about 45 seconds and had told the woman to call her friend who lived near by - and then she lost consciousness.
She then went on to say that wanted to make sure that our daughter had the care that she needed. Our daughter, who only has a university medical plan had refused some tests because she was worried about the cost. This woman said that she wanted to pay for anything that she needed and to make sure that she recieved the care that was requried - not to worry about the cost.
I was stunned. Not sure what to say. We took her card, thanked her, and she was gone.
After several hours in the emergency room and after the arrival of our daughters ex-boyfriend we all just waited for the news on her condition. She was confused and unsure about her surroundings or the sequence of time - but she knew her birthday and name... a good sign. We did order the CAT Scan and there was no evidence of bleeding in the brain. After several bouts of nausea, a tetnus shot, and her wounds cleaned up they released her.
That call, that moment, seeing your daughter crumpled in a hospital bed is crushing. But at the same time knowing that a stranger stopped and cared, two childhood friends came to her aid, three men had also stopped at the scene and an off duty campus police officer - all to make sure that she was safe, gettting the care she needed and ok - that moment - makes you reinvest in your committment that people are good. That humanity is worthwhile. That all the rest of it is bullshit and that when we get down to it and see each other as people there is goodness.
She is recovering here on our couch - she had to be watched for the next several days for fear of complications. She is doing well and we are all just a little shaken at the experience. When the ER staff tells you that your daughter could have died in a crash like that - well, it all seems precious. Each moment, each person - stunningly precious.
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The Wilder Life: My Adventures in the Lost World of Little House on the Prairie by Wendy McClure
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
My daughter is a true Little House fan. She grew up reading the books, had her own Little House club, and spent most of her 8th year in a prairie dress of some kind. So, when we saw this book she wanted to read it immediately. Unfortunately for her she just started school for the fall and adding another book to her reading list wasn't going to happen. So, I read it.
I am also a Wilder fan - who do you think got our daughter hooked on the Prairie books in the first place. My brother, for some reason I can't fathom, loved the show and we would watch it together. He also taught me to read using my grandmothers large print bible - for a gay man he was somewhat of an enigma, but more about that another day. After I realized that the show was based on the books, thanks to the Scholastic flyer that was sent home with me from school, I checked them out from the library. Laura was wonderful - everything a girl wanted to be and doing it all on the prairie. Even I knew that was cool. So, I read and loved them for what they were. Books to peek into another era and enough wholesomeness and sweet girl power spirit to be excited.
Granted, as I got older and my daughter got more into the books we researched Rose Wilder and found that she was a bit more controversial. She lived in our hometown of San Francisco and we were fascinated by her life and understood that she was a pivotal role in getting her mothers books published. We also began to understand that Laura couldn't have remembered all of that and they were fiction - not the true story or the grittiness of their poverty - just a sweet way to remember what was long forgotten.
Now, back to The Wilder Life, because of all that I wanted to like this book too. She goes on this exciting journey to find the true Laura Ingalls Wilder in her homes (we have visited two of the famous sites), she churns butter, and somewhere along the way she gets really disillusioned. What she fails to understand is that it was a story... not fact, but fiction.
She is visiting the sites like I imagine people who visit religious relics do, searching for some magical transformation that isn't going to happen. She is childless, by choice, and is surrounding herself with all these girls who are in love with all things Laura and she wonders why she gets a bit cranky during the journey. They are age appropriate in their love of Laura - she is not. She is, instead, a bit of a freak looking for something outside of herself that she will never find - not in the made up world of Laura fan-dom.
So, what could have been a delightful story about looking into the past through Laura's rose colored glasses instead becomes a journey into a woman who recently lost her mom and isn't coping very well with any of it. Not fun, not the book it could have been, and not the world I wanted to visit.
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Confessions of a Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated by Alison Arngrim
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
I didn't intend to go on a Little House on the Prairie marathon read, but I couldn't help picking this up when I was at the library. After reading The Wilder Life this was a true hoot. For those of us GenXers the LHOP show was part of our cultural narrative - for good and for bad. And Nellie Oleson, well, she was the girl you didn't want to be. Mean, nasty and clearly out to get the good girls. Granted, with her crazy mother (in the show) they were the most fun to watch.
I don't usually read "whatever happened to" lit, in fact it is pretty boring most of the time, but Alison Arngrim outdid herself by writing a wry, clear headed, and actually inspiring account of her very messy life.
Her childhood was hell. There really is no putting it another way. Her mom was the voice of Gumby and Underdog's girlfriend, her dad was gay, and her brother molested her for 6 years starting when she was 6 years old. That and they lived in Hollywood during the 70's and 80's - this is not the wholesome prairie backdrop we thought they were living.
She doesn't apologize, whine or get bitter about any of it. In fact, she successfully uses her terrible life and her mean spirited character Nellie to get rid of one of the most horrific laws pertaining to incest on the books in California - and she does it with grace.
This book could have been a look back at what might have been or woe is me, but I don't think Arngrim has that kind of spirit. She raises money for AIDS children, accepts people for who they are (good and so very bad) and learns to take charge of her own destiny.
Nellie might have been a bitch to sweet Laura (they are friends in real life because, people, this is TV), but she takes all of that and uses it as a catharsis for her own scary/sad life - allowing her to make it through the other side one of the good girls.
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I have been sick for two weeks now... and all those good intentions I had (where are they) just get shot when I don't feel good. I am of the "nap a lot" school of sick. If you don't feel good don't go out and infect other people - that is just wrong. So instead of the nifty end of summer get myself into gear mode, I have been in the sit on the couch and read mode.
What I keep forgetting is that there is a time for everything - even being sick. So, this will pass and I will get better and then I can be ultra productive!
Things I have noticed while I am convalescing:
That is all... yes, being sick makes me a bit cranky. I know that... hopefully it will end soon and I can enjoy the bliss I expect on the other side.
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When I saw the amazing opportunity to give supplies to teachers with Elmers and their Bag it Forward program (#bagitforward) I knew that I wanted to be part of that. My dad was a teacher and I know the he spent anywhere from $500 to $1000 a year on supplies for his classroom out of his own money - money that he didn't really have. I saw how hard it was, first hand, every year for his friends to get everything they needed for the classroom. To give back to them in spirit sounded like a winner to me.
Not only that, for those that don't know, my family moved from San Francisco to Arkansas 9 years ago for our daughter to attend an independent hands on learning school. A big move for our little family. Clear Spring School is a special place and they just started their school year with new teachers and a new headmaster. I knew I wanted to share a little love at this little country school! A quick call to the school and they let me know there were 5 full time teachers - so 5 bags!
Walmart was surprisingly quiet on a Friday... especially because it is Labor Day weekend. All the better for me to whip around the store and get what I need for those bags.
First up pencils and construction paper.
I didn't know that Elmer's carried construction paper - nice. In the cart!
Glue sticks are a no brainer. I carry one in my purse, but then I am a bit like Mary Poppins. Seriously though. I only by Elmer's brand. I have bought other brands and they are awful. Glue sticks go in the cart! (Sorry for the blurry image, there were a lot of people in the aisle.)
Sidewalk chalk - sure that might not be an average school teachers supply, but Clear Spring School is a hands on learning environment and I know those teachers will find a use for this excellent chalk. Cart... plus extra for my work in the downtown.
Sharpies, Kleenex, and stickers, oh my! What teacher doesn't want "You are Great!" stickers?
These are a must have! Cart, cart, and cart!
Wow, done in under an hour and there isn't a line - that must be a first!
Doesn't it look great all lined out there? My husband checked out what I got; as a former preschool teacher he thought I did just great and he liked the reusable bags. Clear Spring is a really green school, so the more that they can recycle and reuse that is a good thing!
I printed out the cute little You've Been Bagged signs from the site for the
front and signed it from our family.
Off to the school to bring them to the new headmaster and development director.
While I was talking to the office the head of school went and delivered them.
Our friend and teacher, Jim, said "presents, for teaching?" How great is that!
Celebrating teachers is a wonderful thing to do - and I am grateful that Elmer's gave me the opportunity to give to these dedicated group of teachers in the Ozarks.
For those that don't know: Bag it Forward is an annual campaign that Elmer's does to help teachers, students, schools and nonprofits get the supplies they need. You can participate too! Simply purchase school items for students this year, donate them to a needy family, school, or charity, and then upload your photos on the Bagged Forward site!
Elmer's is a also Upromise partner and that every time you purchase an Elmer's or Krazy Glue product with your registered drug or grocery card, a percentage of your purchase will be put into your Upromise account. More information can be found here.
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