There are times in your life where everything becomes really real. When all of the facade and pretense just drop away. Unfortunately, I think most of those times are when we are faced with tragedy and crisis, but maybe that is evolutions way of making us grow. Those trees don't get strong just by standing there - they need to withstand weather and wind!
On Thursday night we were working on our porch project which had been very delayed due to me getting sick and the amount of prep that needed to be done, but at 7:35 we had been painting away on the last wall when the call came in.
Our daughters old boyfriend and good friend called to say that she had an accident and that she was on the way to the emergency room.
My husband heard from the porch and immediately cleaned up our work mess, got changed, and we closed up the chickens and were on our way to the ER.
The fastest, scariest, most terrible drive in my life. We live an hour from the hospital she was going to and it is all curves, hills and two lane roads - not where you want to be driving when you are in an emergency. My husband drove like the wind although that scares the crap out of me - but he knows the road perfectly and got us there in 45 minutes.
We arrived to room 10 and she was lying there with tubes in her arms, mascara looking like a racoon, and sticks and grass all over her sweater. Her friend from junior high had also been called and had been there with her the whole time - arriving before the ambulance even.
And also a woman - a woman who had seen the accident while driving with her daughter in the car. She had stopped to call 911 and it was she who had called our daughters friend to tell him what had happened. She had gone home, picked up some snacks, and had come back to the emergency room to wait with our daughter until we arrived. She was worried that she would be alone and dissoriented and wanted to make sure she was ok.
When we arrived, scared and stunned, the woman explained what she and her daughter had seen. Our daughter had been riding her bike home - a retro 1974 Schwinn road bike that she just had refitted with new wheels, chain, brakes, the works - when she either stopped to fast or hit the curb and went flying over the handlebars and landed on the curb with her face and head. No helmet. The perfect storm of circumstances to lead to a crushing accident. She had been concisous for about 45 seconds and had told the woman to call her friend who lived near by - and then she lost consciousness.
She then went on to say that wanted to make sure that our daughter had the care that she needed. Our daughter, who only has a university medical plan had refused some tests because she was worried about the cost. This woman said that she wanted to pay for anything that she needed and to make sure that she recieved the care that was requried - not to worry about the cost.
I was stunned. Not sure what to say. We took her card, thanked her, and she was gone.
After several hours in the emergency room and after the arrival of our daughters ex-boyfriend we all just waited for the news on her condition. She was confused and unsure about her surroundings or the sequence of time - but she knew her birthday and name... a good sign. We did order the CAT Scan and there was no evidence of bleeding in the brain. After several bouts of nausea, a tetnus shot, and her wounds cleaned up they released her.
That call, that moment, seeing your daughter crumpled in a hospital bed is crushing. But at the same time knowing that a stranger stopped and cared, two childhood friends came to her aid, three men had also stopped at the scene and an off duty campus police officer - all to make sure that she was safe, gettting the care she needed and ok - that moment - makes you reinvest in your committment that people are good. That humanity is worthwhile. That all the rest of it is bullshit and that when we get down to it and see each other as people there is goodness.
She is recovering here on our couch - she had to be watched for the next several days for fear of complications. She is doing well and we are all just a little shaken at the experience. When the ER staff tells you that your daughter could have died in a crash like that - well, it all seems precious. Each moment, each person - stunningly precious.