Last night was the Emmy's and because my husband and I really do love good television (and I love award shows) we watched. I chose to not look at Twitter or Facebook during the show - because I just wanted to think what I think, not react to what other people were thinking. (I know, what a concept.)
But, after the event I peeked on and what I found is something that has bothered me for a long time - the usual gripping about some womans dress. "How could she wear that?" "That doesn't really do it for me?" "Someone call the fashion police, we have an emergency."
As someone whose mother used to say that she dressed like a bag lady (yes, my mother and I had issues) I am especially sensitive to this kind of tearing down of other women. I think we do it because it makes us feel better, but it doesn't. We aren't better because we criticize another woman's outfit - we are less because we are focusing on the outside package.
Maybe we are jelous. Here are these fancy folks all dressed up getting awards (that equal bigger paychecks) and our only real way to deal with that is to knock down their gown, hair, shoes, makeup, hat, scarf, jewelry... the list goes on and on.
I know for certain that women try to look good (they say for each other rather then for men, really) every time they leave the house. They are trying the best that they can given what they have.
And what do we do as women, we criticise and judge them.
Constantly.
What is wrong with us? We have this great opportunity to be supportive, kind, and celebratory - but instead we always use the opportunity to crush.
I'm sorry, but that sucks.
Every woman has their own body type, hair, clothing style, budget, clothing expression - and we could celebrate that diversity and help women feel better about themselves. Give encouragement. Share tips. Be kind. Wouldn't that make the world a different place? Wouldn't that make room to do real work and stop us from bashing in the women around us?
I am guilty of this too, in case I sound to holier then thou. When I see women who are larger then I am I check my own hips, thighs and ass and hope they aren't spreading - but why? Maybe I am a round, Hungarian woman and not a Swedish super model - and aren't they both beautiful?
In my heart, I know that we can be better to one another. We can, as Amy Poehler so beautifully demonstrated last night during the Female Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, that all of us can get on stage with each other, hold hands, and be together as one team - whatever our size, our dress, our hair, our bank account. Because if we don't we are part of the problem of keeping each other down and that is not the world I want to pass to my daughter.
