Every year at about this time I get a cold/allergies and it leads to an ear infection - or at least blockage in my right ear. I have tremendous scar tissue in my ears due to having ear infections as a child. This moment of not being able to hear very well has been interesting.
I find myself in the cycle of irritated, searching for a quick cure, adjusting to the change, and then understanding it is just a process that will eventually heal. It is an awful like the Kubler-Ross stages of grief. Which got me thinking if we cycle through lots of things. Some might have really long cycles and others might happen in a matter of minutes.
I know that sitting (meditation) practice you can see your mind do that constant chatter and when you pay attention closer you can see yourself moving through stages.
Kubler-Ross's 7 Stages of Grief are as follows (Wikipedia):
- Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death. - Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. - Bargaining — "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just do something to buy more time..." - Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so whats the point... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed. - Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with her/his mortality or that of a loved one or tragic event.
My thinking is that we do this with just about everything. Not just death. Have you watched this in yourself? I would love to know if I am on to something. For the mean time, I am going to cycle through my ear infection.
