MoxieLife

Serious Good Bean Salad

I have a fear of Three Bean Salad. I never eat it. I think it looks gelatinous and that is not a good thing. Plus, how long has it been sitting in the deli case? Ick. But in an effort to eat way less meat, have cold salads available in the fridge and enjoy the crazy good apple cider vinegar that I am totally craving I made this. And it is Seriously Good!

Salad Ingredients:

3 Different Kinds of Canned Beans, rinsed
I used black, kidney and garbanzo beans. And yes, I totally used canned. I have made lots of pots of beans in my life and really with the cost of water, electricity and time I found that canned beans cost about the same and are consistently good. But you can make your own if you want to.

Half of a Red Onion, chopped

Bell Peppers - 2 total
I used these really cute mini peppers that my husband likes to buy at Sam's Club, but you can use red, orange, green, yellow - whatever you happen to have on hand. I chopped them up willy nilly

3 Sticks of Celery, chopped into half moons

Parsley, half a cup
I requested flat leaf, but our little grocery store doesn't carry it so my husband (did you know he does 94% of the shopping) got curly leaf. Which was fine. I snip it with kitchen scissors... so it is just bright green goodness.

Put all of this into a large bowl. Mix gently.

Dressing:

Half cup Apple Cider Vinegar
I use Braggs. Only. I did a taste test this month of apple vinegars and, by far, Braggs is better. It actually has a little taste of apple and has a nice bright zing to it. You can probably find it in a health food store or buy it online. I buy it by the gallon. LOVE it.

Half Cup Vegetable Oil
I used veg oil because it doesn't have a flavor. I am a big lover of olive oil, but sometimes I don't want that scent or taste.

Pinch of Salt
I use kosher sea salt, but you can use whatever you want.

2 Tablespoons Sugar

Put all of this in a jar, cover it with a lid and shake it like a Polaroid picture... I know you aren't supposed to shake them, but you get the idea!

Add dressing to salad mixture. Stir gently. You can eat it right away, but it gets WAY better in the fridge overnight. This amount will last the three of us for a week and just get better every day.

Seriously, try this and if you aren't converted to a) Braggs cider vinegar and b) Seriously Good Bean Salad, well, you are a loser.

Middle Aged Women Facebook the New Mean Girls

I have noticed this trend for some time, but I didn't want to make a big deal of it. Lately, though I have gotten a bit tired of the Facebook Middle Aged Women Syndrome that I felt I had to at least bring some light to the subject. Trust me, if you are over 35 you might want to read this.

First, let me clarify, if I am your "Friend" on Facebook I may or may not know you. We may or may not really be friends. I may have met you at a conference, went to high school with you, slept with you, read your books, enjoy your art work... there are a million different scenarios to what my relationships are on Facebook. The term "Friends" is just the simplistic term that Mark Zuckerberg gave it... it doesn't really mean friends. It could have said Ooglats... and you could have 100, 328, 1,249 Ooglats - and those would be people you know, people you don't, people you wnat to know, people you just want to stay connected with... they aren't deep Ooglats... just Ooglats.

Now, because the word "Friends" is the actual lable in Facebook and not Ooglats we get into some weird Middle Aged Women behavior. Let me lay it out for you, dear reader. These have actually happened to me... all by women... all strange.

I work with you and so I want to be your friend on Facebook. Fine. I am your friend. We no longer work together, you hate me for whatever thing I did to you, so you take it out on me by de-Friending me on Facebook. Ok, I don't really care, it is just odd.

You want to be my friend in real life. We kind of know each other. I accept your Facebook request... you think we are now really friends. When you realize that we are not really friends you un-Friend me.

You stalk my Facebook and then make weird comments about things I have posted when I see you rather then on Facebook.

You stalk my Facebook for Friends and Friend them yourself... even though you don't know them. Which is fine, but a bit weird.

I un-Friend you because I am tired of pictures of your cats and you accost me at a meeting for not liking you anymore. I'm sorry. I should have just blocked you. My mistake.

You have looked at all the pictures posted of me. I know this because something that went up two years ago will suddenly have a "like" by you. Also fine, but weird.

It is the first two scenarios that create the most frustration... what I realize is that we don't have very good interpersonal skills and instead of talking to me they take it out by Friending or un-Friending me... whatever is the case.

I feel like I need a disclaimer that Friend is just a word... that Zuckerberg chose, just like "Like"... these are not real terms in the dictionary sense of the words. They are just lables to put people/ideas/things in categories. They don't mean anything. Or they don't have the meaning that Middle Aged Women seem to think they have. What bothers me is that because of our lack of interpersonal skills we are tapping into our inner Mean Girl and that is not making my world or the world a better place. Why didn't they just go with Ooglats?

Photo: My real BFF

A Little Digital Sabbatical

On Sunday I tried to do a little digital sabbatical. I wasn't totally successful, but I did better then I thought I would. I checked my email a couple of times, which was good because I had something that needed to be responded to ASAP, but really most of it was junk. I checked into an event and took a photo, but really I left it mostly alone.

And, wow! I got a lot of offline projects done! I gleaned through the house things I no longer needed, I cleaned my office, I dropped things off at the work storage unit and the thrift store, I vacuumed the stairs, I re-potted a plant, I cleaned the bathroom, replanted the pumpkins, I finished one book and started another, I cleaned out my purse, I cleaned my closet... sure a lot of cleaning, but those things often get pushed off for the more alluring device centered fun.

Why bother? There are a number of reasons I rejected my shiny devices for a day.

1. Sanity. I often feel that I am forever tied to the outside world and there is no room for my own thoughts that aren't 140 characters or bite sized. I need the time to not think about things, not be pulled by the insistent email, not answer a zillion questions.
2. Other Things Need to Get Done. I find that I avoid doing other things in favor of playing on a device. I don't really want to vacuum the stairs, although I love the way they look after I do. I am, sadly, of the sedentary sort, and moving around willy nilly or just to do so isn't as appealing as reading a book and tweeting my #booknerd thoughts.
3. Feeling Like I Am Owned. I don't like the idea that the outside world owns me. I can have off time, but I have to carve it for myself. Other people aren't going to give it to me. They are all just living their own little lives not aware that I am a people pleaser with the need to respond immediately. That is my issue - not theirs (yes... I have to repeat that to myself often). If I want time off to play, clean, organize, or just not be "on" I have to give it to myself.

I didn't do anything earth shattering, but I felt better. I know I live in the highly connected digital age, but I think we may need to carve out time without it for our own sanity. Not being religious I don't have a Sabbath, but I am beginning to get the idea of why Jewish people practice this particular custom. We do need to cultivate a time a way from working if we are going to deepen our relationships and ourselves. This may be something I explore more fully - for now I am going to just relish that I almost got one day.

She's Leaving Home (Again)

In just a few short days our daughter will be moving to her own apartment. I am both excited and nervous about this. Excited because I have been living with her things strewn around our 800 square feet home since May. Her dresser is in our living room. Stuff. Everywhere. So, the moving out thing is good.

But I am nervous. She needs to do well at he new school (University of Arkansas) but more importantly she needs to be safe. Her apartment is 10 minutes from school and should be fine. It is on the second floor (a must). I just worry that she is little, cute, and alone. The alone part makes me nervous the most. UofA has a reputation for rape... well, probably not more than other schools, but enough to make me cringe. And after living all this time on a pretty closed campus at her other school I am worried that she won't be as cautious as she should be... or too cautious. I don't know, I'm her mom, I worry.

I'll just be happy about moving the stuff out of the house. That's good, right?

Growing UU Churches

My friend over on The Journey talked about growing Unitarian Universalist churches by creating mission churches and instead of commenting there I thought I would just explore my thoughts here.

First, I grew up in a make it up Unitarian church in Anaheim, CA and then in Fullerton. They had ministers, but they were really made up of old hippies and beatniks that were antiwar and needed a place to hang out together between protests. Which is cool except it seemed really patched together. Really made up. It is hard for me to imagine a mission church across town from the "real church" as she suggests not having that made up feeling. Or worse step child feeling.

Then I struggle with the whole idea of the word mission. Granted, all I know from it is the Christian or Mormon idea and that is you go in and do good things with the idea of having them accept your way of thinking. I have trouble with that. If they are into being Unitarian they can find us. I swear... we are the dorks with the clipboards at the previously mentioned protests. We stand out. We have lots of buttons on our hoodies. We like bumper stickers. We don't like telling other people how to think... at least not in their hearing range.

My last issue is with growth in general. Maybe we aren't that great. Maybe we aren't growing because the church can't even keep people like me. People who grew up in it. What about all of us who know longer go to church... why aren't we going? What about people who already believe in all of it, but aren't fed by what is being served in our own churches? How do you deal with that.

Thoughts explored.

Those Damn Projects

Well, I failed. I couldn't maintain a project a day. It was just too demanding. Too chaotic. Too crazy making. So, what stopped me from doing something? Me. I realize that when I have actual work to do, that I don't want to do, I can't do anything else. I kind of freeze. I can't actually focus on doing a project that might otherwise be relaxing. Instead, I sleep longer, I take baths, or I just zone out doing something minimal. I KNOW the answer is to just do whatever it is that I should/or think I should be doing. Or just make a damn list, but instead I freeze. No one really knows that about me... it is like I am Beans in Rango - I just freeze a bit when I get overloaded.

The other thing I learned is that when you DO get into a project you totally go into the zone of doing it. The other night I gathered my daughter and 3 other ladies to get together to paint gnome bowling pins out of 2 liter bottles. We are showing Gnomeo and Juliet in our city park on Labor Day weekend and I wanted to have Gnome Bowling as a pre-movie activity for the kids. So, we gathered together to draw and paint gnomes. None of us are overly artistic, but they look fabulous. We worked from 6PM until 9PM without really stopping. We laughed, talked politics, felt insecure about your skills and finished 11 gnomes that look amazing. We barely ate and it wasn't until 9PM that I realized we hadn't. Totally in the zone.

The funny thing is that I know that feeling. I love that feeling where time slips away. You look away from your devices. You don't Tweet or text. You are just doing something. It has to involve your hands. For me it often involves being with other people. It takes time to get into that space - in fact, 15 minutes before we ended up my friend leaned over to me and said she had a great time. It was totally different then the computer job she had been doing all day and it took a while to get into it.

So, these projects matter to our sensibilities - to our core. Not because we need to make a bunch of stuff. We don't. But we need to get away from our duties, our obligations, and be free to create and play. I know this. So, although I failed at my 30 project project I am totally ok with that because I learned a great lesson.

Blogs I Love

Here are three craft/art/style blog posts that I have been looking at and re-looking at. Some things just stick in my mind a little longer then other things. I may never do anything with it, but in some subtle way I know it is informing who I am, my work, my style... and I love that it is all in that soup of a brain.

First up: when I saw this book was going to be released from Chronicle Books I was so happy. Paper crafts are totally my favorite thing. I dream of just doing altered books all day and having some super benefactor foot the bill for my creativity. Until then I can just look at this amazing work and get forever more inspired.

I met Julie at the Arkansas Women Bloggers Unplugged weekend - she was one of my very stellar room mates. She is an art teacher and farmer in Arkansas and when I saw that she was going to start doing art lessons/encouragement on her blog Eggs & Herbs I got so excited. You can join in too. I really believe that if you aren't great at drawing she will be encouraging and not like the mean 3rd grade teacher I had that said my trees looked like lolly pops. Yes, they did, but who cares! I can draw lolly pop trees if I want to... right?

Last up is the beehive from sfgirlbybay. I am a lover of the beehive hair style. I have tons of hair and know I could totally rock this look. Granted, I don't like to do that much or put that much product on my hair, but these were really fun to look at - inspire yourself and rock a beehive if only in your mind!

This Weeks Whirlwind

What a whirlwind of a week. Our Noodle came home from 2 months of being a camp counselor at Girl Scout Camp, we spent the day modeling for pretend mother of the bride and bride shots at the Basin Park Hotel, our cars went into the shop and one came out, work hosted a Chalk the Park night, I may have tried on the Clifford the Big Red Dog costume, and I found an amazing caterpillar (it looks just like the Very Hungry Caterpillar) on our tomatoes. Life is great.

Day 21: Project Not Model

 

When we were asked months ago if we would be in the shoot for a local hotel we said yes. Thinking they would forget or it wouldn't be a big deal. They didn't forget. In fact, we did! Well, it was an all day photo shoot with my daughter and I. So fun! We are NOT models. In fact, I have so many body issues that I would be the last person to model, but I love the people who run and operate this hotel that of course I said yes... despite my qualms.

My daughter got home from camp that morning at 7AM and we headed off to the shoot. She has been gone for 2 months as a camp counselor and so her culture shock was profound. Her feet haven't been this clean in months! And clothes other than swim suits, shorts and t-shirts seemed odd. But after a quick scramble to find something for her to wear we were off.

First up was spa shots. We were mother of the bride and bride getting their toes done. The spa setting is gorgeous and we were supposed to dress as if it was spring - now yesterday was 111 in our town. 111. Spring seems so far away. We went for casual. They spent 2 hours photographing her foot, us laughing, us toasting, more laughing, talking, relaxed - now, we are not very good at following directions, that was obvious. Poor photographer kept having to explain where to put our hands and arms... and don't look too posed. We tried to be helpful and "smize" as Tyra Banks says. (Smiling with your eyes)... but we are not models.

Then there were the girlfriend shots with another group of laides from town. They were so cute. They had us in spa robes and those flip flops you get when you have a pedicure. We were laughing, hugging, hips together, not to posed... goodness knows what they had us doing.

Then back home! We ate and did some work before we had to go back for the wedding shots.

Our daughter was marrying a guy who works at the hotel and my husband was their accountant. Then all the managers were there filling in as guests. What a hoot! We had a bunch of shots of him taking off her garter, and they had just met. So funny! Over and over...Let me tell you, I am NOT ready to be a Mother of the Bride any time soon, but it was fun to pretend!

Then it was over and we went home to melt like the popsicles we are! It was a day like no other and harder than it looks!

 

Day 20: Changing Up My Blog Design

Going to WordPress Camp and getting involved with Social Fabric has done one thing - made me want to spruce up my blogs. I am slowly making changes to both this blog and my marketing blog. Here are a few of the changes I made:

Changes to this blog: Instead of a boring list I made little photo blocks that link to my categories on this blog. I also added a little email button in case you wanted to email me directly.

Then I changed up a bit of my badges - you know, those things that affiliate you to different things. Some of these things come and go during the year depending on what I am doing.

I need to add a "I'm Into This" badge, but I haven't gotten there.

And I am looking for a UU one if you know of one let me know.

 

On my work blog I changed the banner and will be working on category photos too. I will also be adding advertising for clients I work with.

I know that most people read blogs in Google Reader, so not sure if it matters, but a nice clean design makes me happy. Let me know what you think about either of them. I'd love the feedback. Anything you would add? Change? Do?