I am sick. I didn't want to be, but I am. In fact it is a weird convergence of events. Stop reading right now if you don't like stories with lady issues.
Friday Night: I ate 2 bites of my husbands ice cream. No, 3 bites. Let's be honest here.
Saturday Morning: I notice a lot of phlegm. And I don't feel very well. We drove over to see our daughter and take care of last minute things that she needed now that she has been in her apartment a week. We went to breakfast (whole grain pancakes for me), the Farmers Market (when you really look around there are very few organic sellers at the market), bought a Craigslist bike out in the middle of nowhere, then to Walmart to get a few things she needed. Then back to her apartment to work on bike, put all that stuff away, and piddle around - all the while feeling more and more crummy.
Sunday Morning: Period starts, full fledged cold is under way.
I swear the three things - the ice cream (which is terrible for you and I don't eat much dairy anymore), running myself ragged when I didn't feel very good, and starting my period converged at the right time to make me sick.
That if those three events didn't happen at the same time I would be fine. Like my body would say, "sure eat that crap" or "go one more place even though you are burned out" or even "what's the big deal you have your period every month". BUT ALL THREE at once and someones damn germs caused the horrible cold that has me drinking water/lemon juice/cayenne pepper, eating super simple meals, and downing EmergenC like it is going out of business. Oh, and the decongestant that you have to sign for because they make meth out of it...grrrr... the curse of the three....
I love Tina Fey (well, I love Amy Poehler more, but so does Tina Fey) and what I was reminded by reading her autobiography was that she was the screenwriter for Mean Girls! Of course! It is so obvious when you see her work, but I totally forgot that. That movie and the book it was based on has been a big part of how I view office politics and how women treat each other - and this book goes into that a bit as well.
What I love about Tina (and Amy) is that they aren't here to be cute, sexy or charming in the obvious sense of the word - they are here to make you laugh (and think). That makes them smart in my mind. I get tired of the "funny" girl that is staged with two other funny guys - which seems to be the way most TV is portrayed. Women are funny in their own right - even when they aren't doing typically funny women's things. It is complicated, but when I read her words I feel like she is the new breed of feminist. The kind that sees gender disparity, but also sees other disparities in the work/world place. And because of that she can take things through her lens and make you laugh.
The best part of the book, for me, was when she breaks down what doing improv at Second City (the cult) taught her for her life skills - not just on stage:
Agree: start with an open mind (don't immediately find why you can't do something, consider the possibilities)
Say Yes, and: "Add something to the discussion, contribute. Your initiations are worthwhile."
Make Statements: As women we tend to not make statements and instead talk with question marks after everything. Instead, say what you are really doing, what you really want, and where you are really going.
There Are No Mistakes, Only Opportunities: "In improv there are no mistakes, only beautiful happy accidents." (Maybe that can be said for life too.)
She also has a great section where she works at a summer theater group and works really hard to not get her ex-boyfriends girlfriend a part in a play. She admits now that it was a crappy thing to do and that women can not do that to one another in the workplace.
Lastly, I loved her take on the idea that there is enough for everyone. The world seems to run on scarcity tactics. (Not enough jobs, not enough parts for you, not enough ways that someone can succeed, basically the evening news.) And she blows the lid right off of that - there is room for more than one woman in a scene, department, company... there is enough creativity to keep going, there is enough... in fact, there may be so much that we can't envision it. Living in that scarcity place makes us mean to one another, but opening up to the possibilities makes it all seems a bit more tolerable.
Sure, the book goes on longer about SNL, 30 Rock, and Sarah Palin, but that isn't really where the meat is - it is in her ability to translate her experiences, however raw, into the way she is embracing the world for herself, her daughter and the women she works with. Inspiring stuff - and a good choice if you are sick of poorly written business books to motivate you.
When we were notified that we were one of the families that was going to be able to redo a room and that our room was our sleeping porch I knew I had to call my friend Kath. She is an expert colorist, she is an artist, a designer - pretty much if she didn't live in the country and had marketed herself different she could have been Martha Stewart (although, I think she blushes a lot when people tell her that.)
I called her on Tuesday at work and she said she could come on Wednesday afternoon. Not soon enough I was so excited! She brought with her a box of color samples from all over and although they might not have been Glidden (#gliddengallons) she said she was positive I could find exactly what we were looking for when I got to Walmart.
With her excellent eye she took our original idea of black and white and softened it to: A taupe color for the walls, white trim for the outer trim, and a really dark green for the window frames and doors. For the floor she suggested a deep pine green.
Then we talked about sheen and what to paint where and how to paint it all... I know... it was like having my own personal design consultant!
Before she left we made sure that she would come back when we were styling the room... I'm not sure she trusts us, but I'm just happy that she is going to lend her amazing hand to our project.
After that I tweeted with the @Glidden_Paint folks about whether I should use exterior or interior paint. Exterior! And they answered my questions right away and clued me into the idea about porch paint for the floor - I had no idea!
So, that evening, after a really long day of meetings and work I headed over to Walmart to buy the Glidden Brilliance paint for our Porch Makeover (Squee... I am so excited about this.)
When I got there it was pretty quiet, being dinner time, but the Glidden balloons led the way to the paint department and I got busy matching chips. Kath was right! They had exact matches! I even splurged on getting the Glidden Brilliance Floor paint to match the forest green. The poor Walmart paint guys were so patient with me... I knew one of them was ready to get off work, but he mixed all of that paint and waited until I had called my husband to debrief about getting flat paint for the walls. Paint guys must have patience!
Wood Smoke for the walls, Deepest Woodland Green for the doors and window trim and Oyster Shell for the other trim. (I am a little intimidated, we have never used 3 colors in a room or painted trim before... we will see how it goes!) And the floor of the porch was specially mixed (they have premixed porch paint too) Deep Forest Pine. These Glidden colors make me so happy!
I feel, for the first time, that our home is starting to look like a grown ups home instead of a sparkly kids cottage (which was great when our daughter was little, but we are all growing older)! I can't wait to show you what we do with this. We won't start painting until next week, busy schedules, but when we do we will take you all along! There is a coupon on the sidebar for one for $3 off a gallon and one for $3 off 2 testers. That is a great deal and only lasts until 9/11/11. Take advantage of that savings and make a room over too!
Here is the link to MyThisMoment about shopping for the paint.. see how much I love our Walmart paint guys for putting up with me.
This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias. All of the opinions, work, and crazy painting days ahead of us are all mine. You can pay me to do something, but you can't make me say something!
At first I thought that he had cheated a little bit with this book because it is just a collection of articles and experiments that he wrote for Esquire, but because I don't read Esquire I realized that this book was meant for me. The essays are short (a chapter each) and have a CODA about his thoughts now or after the experience of each project he tries - which makes for a really fun read. He does have the propensity to repeat himself, but don't we all.
Best in the book? The rational mind experiment (boy, your mind is presupposed to do a lot of crap that you don't even realize) and the George Washington experiment. George isn't my favorite president, but he made him more so. His observation that Obama is more Washington then Lincoln is spot on and I wish he would write further about that somewhere - good info that I would love other people (who won't read this book) to read. All in all, a great before bed read and great fun.
I have these little nagging thoughts that I can't seem to find clarity on. They aren't life shaking, by any means, but I roll them around in my mind constantly. So, instead of continuing to do that I thought I would crowdsource the answers... to life's little problems. Please, chime in if you have a possible solution to any one of these things I keep tossing around:
Grey Hair Dilemma? I have some grey hair. My husband says it is fine, but I am thinking at 41 I might be looking older than I feel. I don't want to do an all over dye and I am unsure about the cost of maintaining a salon solution... is there anything that can be done at home that doesn't look horrendous?
Milk or Soy? Is organic milk better for you? We pretty much just drink soy, but now I am thinking we should switch back to milk. Anyone have an opinion?
Camera? I need a camera, but am not sure if I want to jump into the DSLR or just get a point and shoot. What do you have and do you love it?
Journaling? I am wondering if I should start a journaling blog or just add that component here. I have taught it, written countless prompts - and am committed to the process, but I haven't done anything with it publicly since I left San Francsico 9 years ago, where I used to teach to children and adults. Wondering if the concept is even interesting to anyone.
Best Carpet? Is berber carpet better than a short plush for the house?
Website Questions: I have two blogs and a site and I am wondering if I should have a point and shoot page called Jacqueline Wolven where you could find it all in one place.
Studying Zen: I want to practice Zen more seriously, but I don't know where to begin. I currently "tithe" to Cheri Huber's monastery because I love her, but I am really more drawn to Pema Chodron or Karen Maezen Miller. I know they would all say to just shut up and sit, but I wonder if having a formal teacher, even far away is possible.
Ok, that is all for now. If you have any answers or opinions on my little problems leave a comment - I am curious what you think and maybe just writing this down will stop these thoughts from racing around my brain each day!
Photo: Courtesy of Purdy Art Co. taken during an event in our downtown. We had a nice visit with Strike from the NWA Naturals!
I can not tell you how excited I am that I was chosen by Glidden Gallon's (#gliddengallons) to do a porch makeover! Our sleeping porch is, for those that don't know me in real life, the summer bedroom of our daughter and has needed a spiffing up for some time. She spends most of her summer working as a camp counselor at Girl Scout camp, so sleeping outside without air conditioning doesn't seem to bother her and I think she likes the modicum of privacy in our teeny tiny cottage.
We will be painting the walls and trim and are looking at a bold cream and black. Those purple walls, gone! That red door, gone! We can't wait to go to Walmart and pick out the paint and trim color. Today I tweeted with @glidden_paint and they agreed that we should use exterior paint. The whole Brilliance line at Walmart in the paint department is new and I am excited to try it.
First though... before I even go shop for this I have to have my friend Kath come over. She is an expert colorist and she can help us pick out the three colors that we are going to use.
Stay posted! Next I will post about the inspiration for the room and where I am going with it and share with you what Kath says to do - always trust good paint and good friends. I'm lucky, I have both.
Note: This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias. All of the opinions, work, and crazy painting days ahead of us are all mine. You can pay me to do something, but you can't make me say something!
After living for 3 months with my daughters entire apartment inside my little house I moved some things around yesterday. So many things - that my husband said I was changing too fast, but I have been thinking about this for months.
First off, I moved all of the furniture around in the living room. Basically, I just flipped the love seats position, but I also brought in a tall lamp, a table lamp (I don't really love that thing, but I have plans for what it will look like when I am done with it), and a few decor pieces (mostly the gourds I grew last year in the garden. I haven't hung any artwork yet because I have to see if I like the room like this. Then I can - and that will make a huge difference.
Then I cleaned out my clothes closet, cleared out the dining room and put down a rug that was my daughters, and added another lamp to our bedroom and moved rugs and furniture around my office. Whew.
The BIG project we will be doing in two weeks is a repaint/redecorate of our sleep in porch (although there won't as of yet be a bed going back in there). More about that later!
Totally bitter sweet. Yesterday we spent the whole day moving our daughter to her new apartment. Which, despite the fact that they picked it without seeing the inside is SUPER cute. Just perfect for one person and so close to campus. It was totally a Goodman Wolven's step out kind of day though.
First, it was 100+ degrees with about that much humidity and the apartment is up a flight of stairs. We could park close enough, but with a girl with so many bags of clothes we made many, many treks up and down.
Second, after we had arrived and gotten the key we realized they had given us the wrong key. Sorry, guy in apartment 8... no we didn't go in, but we could have. Back to the office to get the correct key.
Third, when we arrived back at the apartment for the second time we got a call from dad that his truck wouldn't start. Not that big a deal except it was packed full of the furniture. He was at NAPA getting his battery checked. After 30 minutes, a new battery, battery charger, and the bad news that the truck was going to have to go in the shop this week for a new alternator he headed our way.
Fourth, did I say it was hot?
So, we got her moved in went to Walmart to pick up a first round of groceries, shower curtain and ice cube trays which we never did find. We stayed for a while to help her unpack a bit. Not everything, but to get the furniture where it needed to be, unpack the kitchen and move some books around. The kid has enough stuff to live in a real house... where did she amass all of this I wondered.
As we drove home, dad following me just in case the truck conked out, I was sad. So sad. This is probably the last time she will live with us and although I am grateful that she gets to have this wonderful opportunity to live alone and go to school I realize it will never be the same. So, I get my quiet house, but a chapter closes and a new one starts. Bittersweet.
I was given the very wonderful gift a few months ago to attend a conference put on by the Arkansas Women Bloggers (#ARWB) at the Ozark Natural Science Center, an amazing space. At that conference I met the Executive Director, Bethany and she showed us her totally fabulous geeky self and her love of pens. It was there that I first started my hunt for the Pilot B2P.
When I got home from the conference I made a special trip to Walmart (because I figured they would have them) to look for the pen, but they didn't have it.
I tweeted about my hunt and Pilot tweeted back with some ideas where I might find it.
I went looking again and still couldn't find it. I was becoming obsessed.
When we were at Target I poured through both the back to school aisles and the office supplies on the look out for this recycled gem and still couldn't find it.
I went online, but I refused to pay shipping for something so simple and obviously crazy to be searching out. (I can make fun of my own quirkiness).
Last week I had to pick up a few things at our local Office Supply and I casually (I don't want everyone to think I am a total dork) mentioned I was looking for a certain pen... the Pilot B2P. Well, she didn't carry it, but she looked it up in the catalog and there it was. I could order it from her, buy it local, and have my obsession met. I ordered a box of 12 and they arrived 2 days later. She called me to tell me they were in - how sweet is that?
So, why all the fuss?
The B2P gets it's name from Bottle 2 Pen
Made from 89% post-consumer plastic bottles. You know all those ubiquitous water bottles that we serve at every function - those.
Uses the Pilot G2 ink - and if you are gel pen officiando you know that the G2 is the best gel pen. And it is refillable with the same ink.
Best of all... it is a clicky pen, which is a must in my life. I love the click!
So, the lesson? Be wary of what you get obsessed over, but remember if you do get hooked on some thing or another you can probably find it at your locally owned independent retailer - and they will even call you when it comes in!
This week has been quite a ride of events, feelings, and lessons learned. It's funny when life just takes you by surprise like that.
Events:
We had friends of our daughters stay with us. Now, most of you know that we live in a 800 sq ft cottage that is 115 years old. It is like living in a studio apartment. You can hear everything, there is no privacy, and we only have one bathroom. Not to mention we are really private people. I had no idea how private until we had these girls stay with us for a few days. (They leave today and, frankly, I can't wait to sleep without the door closed again.)
We had our first sports night downtown and although it was TOTALLY out of my comfort zone it was amazing to see so many families in our downtown park. One of my goals, living in this little town, is to create the possibility for more hometown downtown pride. Sports night was the first of that effort. If you have never had to borrow the radar gun from your local police department, stop traffic to pass footballs in the street, or design a little putting park... well, you can't imagine the lengths I will go to include people and create fun downtown.
We are packing up our noodle... enough said.
Feelings & Lessons Learned:
One night the girls had a cook out for some more kids at our house. Remember, our tiny house. And although there were only 5 of them it felt like my house was inundated and I realized how intolerant I am of that. How I crave my quiet life. Well, that night was not fun for me at all. I was tired from getting up at 6AM to work, hot because they didn't turn the air conditioning down and I didn't realize it, left lights on and I sleep in total darkness, and really I was just in a hateful mood. In the morning my husband said something to me that made me see my intolerance and my inability to be flexible so clearly and without malice that it stopped me in my tracks. That lesson, that people are who they are and I can't control them and should not judge them, comes up for me over and over. It is so hard to let go and just let other people do their own thing. It is also hard to know that when you aren't handling it well it is your own stuff and not theirs.
So, it is Friday and my week was full. Good and bad. Small disappointments, challenges, and a chance to see my own stuff come up again. Every day there seems to be a teachable moment if I am paying attention.
