April Fools Day has never been one of my easier days. Sure, I am all for silly fun and in fact a few years ago my husband did a great trick on us with the kitchen sink, but usually I am not in the mood. 23 years ago I adopted out my son on this day and that just kind of sunk the day into a more difficult and less jovial mood.
I don't know what the statistics for birth mom's are, how many of us in the US choose to do this, or what happens to them - I never did any research on it and don't really plan to. What I do know is that I am extremely proud of having chosen to walk this path. I wasn't forced, coerced, or made to do this - I chose it. I wanted to have the very best options for my child - and, really, this was it.
I took a long time to decide what to do. I could have kept him and been a struggling single mom, given him to my sister to raise, or adoption - when I look at all those choices it is really easy, but at the time it took me months to decide what to do. A little before a month of my due date I chose an adoption lawyer from the yellow pages in the most upscale neighborhood in Orange County, made an appointment, and set it all into motion.
The family I chose was not able to have children of their own. She had been diagnosed with uterine cancer months before they got married, so they knew that would never be an option. And 23 years ago they were considered unsuitable for traditional state adoption because she was Catholic and he was Jewish. Silly, but true- possibly the ultimate April Fools joke on the "system". They seemed the perfect family for this Unitarian Universalist.
So, they flew down from northern California, met me, saw that I was extremely healthy, knew it was a boy and the rest is history.
Don't get me wrong - it wasn't easy. It still isn't. It is the feeling that you missed out on something, will never know the "what if's", and had to 100% hope for the best - for someone else. It wasn't about me, it was about giving the world of possibilities to three people I didn't know - my son and his new parents.
