As I sit in my overly messy office on a Monday afternoon between stacks of paper, an open check book, 2 calendars, and a pile of bills I know that focusing is hopeless. I wold LIKE to be organized and focused this afternoon - really more than everything, but this morning was disturbed by a morning meeting. I find that if I have meetings in the morning I am unable to refocus my day. My mind scatters like leaves unraked in an August wind.
It isn't that I don't have a list of things that needs to be done, I do, but I know that today that list is rather hopeless. So, why do I keep repeating a pattern that isn't working?
Really, if I know that meetings - or really contact with others - early in the morning make for a hectic unproductive day why do I do it? I work for myself so I can set my own hours, develop my own routines, and bow out of any meetings that aren't useful or productive - or disrupt my moments.
I guess I am just slow to figure this out - that it is my life - subjected to only my rules. I can either choose to be part of something or not. I can do what is right for me. Move slowly or rush. I don't really have to play by anyone elses rules.
And yet, I do. It is hard to shift away from what everyone else is doing. Take meetings - as a whole I think they are useless. You meet, you come up with lists, and nothing happens between then and the next meeting. What is better, for me, is action planning. Specific actions are planned and they are launched at that meeting. Names are taken, ideas are bounced, and we move to the planning stage to actually get something done.
Most people do not work that way. They go to countless mind numbing meetings and wonder why nothing is going on. I think it is because no one takes accountability during meetings. The meetings run as long as they run. People meet monthly because they think they have to. It all just is a big nothing and yet the whole work world works this way.
No wonder we aren't happy, productive people. We are subjecting each other to agendas that don't matter and rules that shouldn't be followed.
I feel like I have to reexamine all of this. Take what is working and move away from what isn't. Seriously, is anyone going to say "she went to a lot of meetings" at my funeral. Goodness, I hope not!
