I have been thinking a lot about motivation and self discipline - of which I have completely lost in the last several weeks. Not work motivation, I always have that, but personal motivation. I have three simple goals - Get up early, meditate and work out. Nothing fancy, nothing hard, but I am completely blocked as to how to make myself do them.
My alarm goes off and I just snuggle deeper into the covers. That sets off a list of sliding everything else down the tubes. If I get up late, my personal time is pushed aside to work. So the three goals are all messed up.
It would be so easy to blame my parents - those free wheeling hipsters who didn't follow any ones rules and therefore didn't require me to either, but that just seems lame. There is something else going on. Pema says that there are two ways to avoid anxiety one is to speed up and not really accomplish anything and the other is to get really lazy. I fall into the second one - instead of showing up for myself I just slack.
The question is what am I avoiding?
