MoxieLife

41st Year of Themes

I left my 40th year behind last month - see ya! It was actually a pretty great year. I did a bunch of stuff on my 40/40 Challenge. I didn't do a bunch of stuff on my 40/40 Challenge. I tried new things. I sat a lot - a good thing, not a couch potato thing. The question now is what to do with my 41st year? I have decided to break the year into monthly themes.

October: Right Speech - this is one of the Buddha's Eight Fold Path that is broken out like this: 1.to abstain from false speech, especially not to tell deliberate lies and not to speak deceitfully, 2. to abstain from slanderous speech and not to use words maliciously against others, 3. to abstain from harsh words that offend or hurt others, and 4. to abstain from idle chatter that lacks purpose or depth. Positively phrased, this means to tell the truth, to speak friendly, warm, and gently and to talk only when necessary. We'll see how I can rock that.

November: Food and my relationship to it.

December: Hospitality - not the fake kind where you have parties to impress people, but the real kind where you bring grace and kindness to your relationships on an everyday basis.

January: New Beginnings. Shedding things that don't work and adding things that do.

February: Small Gifts. To share my small gifts with people and to celebrate others small gifts.

March:

April:

May:

June:

July:

August:

September: Celebrate - this month will be about celebrating the BIG and little things.

 

Yep, there are blanks. I am working through this and what I want to do with it. You'll see more! I promise!

Hello World

Today at the gym - yep the gym (wonder how often I am going to be saying that) - an older fellow who I know, (but am not particularly close to, we aren't friends, but I don't have any feelings of negativity towards him) chastised me for not saying hello to him. Let's be clear about a few things. It was 8AM. I had stumbled out of bed at 7:45, brushed my teeth, put on NEW workout wear and drove straight to the gym. No tea. No coffee. Barely a kiss goodbye for my husband.

I walked in, went pee (I always have to pee when I get there), and started up the treadmill. He looked over from the other treadmill and said, "What? No hello?"

I, begrudgingly, said hello. Then I went on to explain that I was tired and not very social in the morning. He said, it was common courtesy to greet everyone you see. I said that was a regional difference (he is from New Orleans and I am from California) and hoped he had room for people that didn't feel that way.

Here is the thing, I don't want to HAVE to say hello. I want to say hello because I want to say hello. Sometimes I just want to be quite. I want to be with you, share the space, but I don't want to converse. I don't want to talk, share, communicate.

What I know about that is that my needs may not be the same as your needs. You may need me to say hello. And so that little thing becomes a bigger struggle. Not a huge, I am going to burn down your house kind of struggle, but something that vibrates with energy.

The question is who's needs need to be respected? Would a nod on my part work? A smile. A wave? Or do you need the whole shebang?

A curious thing this world of humans is... one that I am learning from every day. What about you do you nod, smile, and say hello to everyone you meet?

 

Photo: Major Clanger

Modeling Good Behavior

I live in a very small town - 2,500. It is a wonderful, interesting, art town that was recently named the #10 US Small Art Town by American Style Magazine. Which is a very cool thing. The problem is that it seems to attract a lot of people who have ego's the size of Texas. (I am just as guilty.) Well, when you get all of these big fish in a small pond it is mayhem. What I notice more though is that a lot of people don't play well with others.

Back biting, mean, belittling, small, and angry folks ripping people apart on Facebook, in the newspaper, at meetings, on an on line bulletin board. It is crazy.

Last month I vowed to stop reading it. Stop watching it. Stop participating in it.

It isn't easy.

People want to tell you about so and so. People want to tell you why X should be fired. People want to tell you what they read about Y.

What good does that do? How does that help us work better together as a community?

I have this underlying feeling that if we were committed to doing good work with the same vengeance that we are at tearing others down we might actually reach #1 on that list.

Plus, we are grown ups. Aren't we supposed to model the behavior we want our children to emulate? Don't we want them to be caring, loving, honest, and kind people? Well, if they read anything or watch any meeting (our city meetings are televised) they aren't going to see behaviour you want copied on the playground. In fact, we wonder where bullying happens; we just need to look at our own life.

So, that month of not reading it or engaging in it wasn't easy, but I am committed to keep trying. Wish me luck because the pull of gossip and meanness can be mighty strong. Guess that is why I am working out - so I can stand firm in my belief to just do good work!

 

Browsing: On the plus side I found this great 10 week series in the NYT teaching you to draw. How cool is that?

 

Photo Credit: Christopher P. Bills

Getting Serious at the Gym

Last year one of my goals was to run a 5K. I did not do it. I just didn't have the fitness level to do it and couldn't make myself get the help I needed to get there. Well, 3 days after my 41st birthday I signed up at our local gym to work with the owner/personal trainer to get my ass in shape. My goals are to lose some weight, get stronger, and to run that damn 5K.

Here is the truth - I am sick of continuing to gain weight and lose muscle... by being so sedentary. My fear is that I am going to develop Type 2 Diabetes like my mom did and if I don't get off my ass now it could be too late.

So, I am starting. I am taking it serious. I am getting up and going to the gym at 8:15AM 5 days a week. I am continuing to walk the track 2 -4 times a week. I am adding physical activity to my weekends. I am doing something and I am getting help from a trainer. I have no work out IQ. I am clueless about exercise. I am not even sure what the optimal things to eat are. I am starting from zero and looking forward to learning.

My goal isn't to be skinny. I like my boobs and ass - and so does my husband. I just want them to be a little firmer. I don't need to lose tons of weight (well, 40 pounds would actually put me at optimal health, but I am not going crazy over that) I just want to fit in clothes that are a couple of sizes smaller. And I want to get really strong. I want to gain some upper body strength. I want to have stamina. I want to not be breathless after 3 miles on the track.

I have gone to the gym before - we all have - but this time is different. This time I am taking it 100% seriously. I am paying for it. I am working with someone who can actually help me, push me, get me to keep going. I have real goals and I am working to get there - slowly, but I'll be damned if I can't reach them.

I weigh 178 pounds and that is just not healthy. I don't know what my blood sugar or cholesterol level is because I don't have health care, but I am sure they need to chill too. So this is for health. This is to take care of myself. To put myself first. Really, for the first time ever.

Whew - I ache from crunches, squats, and working my triceps (who knew I had those), but it is the best ache I have ever had.

Looking for Love

Last night our book club met - the Laughing Ladies Book Club - and I drove one of the members out to the location. On the drive there she mentioned wanting more of the Big L - Love and not so much the Small l - love. It was an interesting idea and, of course, got me thinking.

Are we running around looking for the things we think are going to give us love and really they are just things. Sex, drugs & rock and roll, certainly have their place, but is there ultimate fulfillment in having more things, "loving" more folks, or doing more?

Where do you find the big Love? The love that transcends the wants/desires and connects you to something bigger. I find it when I slow down, when I listen and shut up, when I read, when I connect to someone else, when I sit, when I allow myself to breath.

What are you searching for? The big or little love? A little of both. None of the above?

Flickr: LB Pics.