MoxieLife

Hate crimes abound.

Well, there is no question that both groups are hated, but it is interesting how both could be targeted with the same act. A billboard put up by the Freedom From Religion group was vandalized yesterday. They took an atheist billboard and made into a hate statement against homosexuality. What a mess we live in.

Just yesterday, I had a brief moment of tears when it was announced on NPR that Obama had signed into law the Matthew Shepherd bill. I remember when he was brutally tortured and left to die. An act that was a horrible mark on the human race - and it has taken 11 years to make a statement and to change the law.

Now one group is trying to raise awareness about religion in politics and they are targeted. It seems it is always something. Thank goodness they weren't hung up to die, then again it is hard to pick out the Atheist in the crowd.

Those sleepless nights worrying about loose ends.

You know that awful feeling when you wake up at 2:43am and you can't get back to sleep because you have so many must do's, want to do's, and loose ends rattling around in your head. Well, that was my night. I am juggling a lot of work and personal projects and I can't seem to figure out how to get it all done.

Or, what really happens is I get resentful because my husbands to do list doesn't seem as long. That feeling is the worst. It goes through a series of things: resentment, anger, frustration, and then resolve. All within the wee hours of the morning in complete silence in bed.

Terrible.

Then in the morning when I told him I didn't sleep well he just said to give him the things that he can do and just do the things I can do - consider them done, he said.

How easy was that.

So much better then wanting to shake him awake at 4:15am shrieking that it wasn't fair that I have to DO so much. (I didn't do that... I just WANTED to do that.)

Changing the world one book at a time

I have been doing a little reading here in the woods and have stumbled across one of my favorite genre's - Do Gooders Doin' Good! Yep, stories where people do good in the world just because they want to. If I had to pick a non-fiction book that makes me happiest and inspires me to take on the world one injustice at a time it would have to be this particular genre. Now there seems to be fiction that is taking on that world view too. 

For those of you wondering what to do with your life you might consider Leaving Microsoft to Change the World. He chose to leave Microsoft, with a small fortune, and start a nonprofit that builds schools, libraries and funds education in Tibet, India, Africa and beyond. For $8,000 you can fund a school - for $10,000 you can tack on a library. This is the stuff that makes me choke up and wonder why we aren't all giving our time to noble causes. The line that hit me was "this is the time for us all to be superhero's" and we can. It take SO little to make a difference. Not to mention, I would rate him as one of the all time most eligible bachelors - if you can keep up with him.

Then onto Ralph Nader's fictional book Only the Super Rich can Save Us. I am only into this 160 pages and it makes me so frustrated my hair is starting to curl. The premise is that Warren Buffet arranges for 20 or so of his super rich friends to take on the status quo. They stage "Pot Offensives" to show the ridiculousness of banning industrial hemp (did you know that International Paper Company wants to grow it), get Warren Beatty to run for Gov of California (even though I think he is past his prime and Matt Damon might be a better pick), and Yoko Ono sends 3 million households CLF light bulbs just for asking. That is just the beginning - he is showing what we, as average American's, could be doing if we would just get off our ass. More on this book as I sink deeper in.

The Power of Unreasonable People is my next tome. I didn't think I would like this because it was put out by Harvard Press. I thought it might be too dry, but it is actually a great introduction into social investing. It gives examples of business models that are being tried all over the world. Practical solutions to societies ills but impracticable people. This book has me thinking about the possibilities and where we can go if we just put some great minds together.

It is my goal to make a difference and if I can be inspired by others who are doing it all the better - what are you reading and what are you doing to change your world?

Real change could happen in Afghanistan

I know there are those that will consider this idea nation building. I also know that there are people who think war is the answer or at least hunting down and killing terrorists is the answer. There are also those that just want us to get out of Afghanistan.

But I propose something different.

I propose that we stop fighting and we start helping.

Lay down our guns (or at least just use them to protect the people) and pick up the shovel.

If we changed our strategy of fighting an unseen enemy to build schools, hospitals, clinics, farms, wells, and whatever else the people need to rebuild their society we would be making LONG TERM changes to the country that would benefit generations and plant the seeds of respect and trust.

Fighting isn't working.

We don't know where we are shooting and the people of Afghanistan are suffering.

What happened after the 70's pullout of the Soviet Union is that the Taliban went in and built schools - schools that used education as a tool for hate (how many bullets can your gun hold and how many people can be killed with one round - a fun math problem for 4th graders). While we abdicated and left weapons for them to use. They built a nation and crippled a society.

So, why don't we follow their lead? Why don't we do what we do best and build roads, economies, hospitals? Why can't our military be used as forces of good.

I propose that it is a solution that would work - in the long term. And although unconventional it is a chance to do what is right.

Either that or we just leave and, really, that didn't work last time.

Challenge Updates and the OMG Award of the Week

Challenge Update:

I wrote my Tuesday poem - this is much more challenging then I thought. The process, for me, is to think about it for a couple of days. Write it on that Tuesday some time in the mid day in a quick dash. Edit it to something poem like. Call Lynn and read it to her voice mail. And then check it off on the calendar. I can see where I could forget this on a busy Tuesday - but I am trying to add it to my To Do list so it doesn't fall off the track. It is interesting that it takes several days for some idea to percolate - nothing to earth shattering, but something that would be easily captured in a few brief lines. Again, I am grateful that I am reading them to her voicemail because I would be TOO shy to read them to her in person.

Other updates: Went to yoga, wrote letters, did a after Olympic gymnastic hands in the air happy dance after hiking through a trail I had never hiked in Lake Leatherwood, wrote two friends about creating a retreat, designed the coolest To Do list, and have not figured out how to exercise everyday other then walking to the mail box.

Donors Choose Challenge:

Well, it is the 17th of October. I have just a few days left to raise enough to help ONE MORE CLASSROOM and if you are reading this you know I am talking to you. It takes MINUTES to do and it goes DIRECTLY into a classroom. If you don't know Arkansas 37.4% schools failed - we are ranked 48 out of 50. Your $5 donation goes DIRECTLY into classrooms that are desperate for help.

I know you have a million organizations asking you for your money. I know that this has been a hard year, but if you could help one child wouldn't you? If you knew that your money would make a real difference wouldn't you give it? With Donors Choose it does - the teacher gets it for projects that are meaningful to their students.

So, go look under your couch, in your change bowl, and at the bottom of you purse and give that much. Thank  you.

OMG Award of the Week:

This was tough because we had the ridiculous parents who thought their child went up in their hot air balloon, but really just seek crazy amounts of media attention, but the award goes to the Louisiana judge who denied the interracial couple their marriage license because of what it would do to the children. See, this is what living in the South is like folks.

Shut up and get to work

I just don't understand why everyone is standing around talking about health care. Sure, consensus is good in theory, discussion helps people feel like they have talked, and committees can bring project to life - but in my experience people who DO get more done. People who TALK get very little done. So, I would like to see less talking in DC and more doing.

Seriously, how many of you have been on a committee to design, create, or move something along. I am SURE that those in the church have and those of you who work in any kind of office have as well. Now, you may come back and say that things worked out so well, good changes were made, people made great contributions. But my experience has been that watered down ideas get done and crap sits in committee forever. It is when someone says "I'll do it" that something gets done.

In my line of work, I have designed countless things that had to go before a committee and what always happens (unless I have done a very good coaching job from the beginning) is that they pick the worst idea and blend it with other ideas until what is produced is heartless and without any dynamic meaning.

Which is exactly what I see happening in DC.

So, if anyone is listening to me - I advise them to shut up and get to work. Stop trying to get consensus. Stop trying to get everyone's ideas. Just go do what you want to do. Someone will be happy and someone won't, but if they keep at it like they are now no one will really be happy with what is produced.

Do your least favorite thing - no excuses

So, yesterday I talked about having a No Excuses Life. The idea is that you show up for what needs to be done and you don't make excuses for any of it. Everyday we make lists (either in our head or on paper) and we either cross things off or we don't. The lists keep coming day after day and there are always things on the list that you don't want to do.

They vary for different people. Personally, I don't like paying bills, filing paper, or dealing with the IRS. Granted these are all things that we have to do. And I just do it. We all just do those things. (Some happily, to my amazement.) 

Everyone has a list of things they don't like doing (exercise, flossing, cooking, etc.) Make your list. What are the things that have to be done that you just don't like doing? The challenge is to just do them - don't wait, don't put them off - just do them. Do them when they need to be done.

I challenge you to pick the thing you like the least and just do it. See what it feels like to just do it and cross it off your list.

There is a level of anxiety that happens when you think about or start doing something that you don't like doing, but when it is over the response is usually, "that wasn't so bad."

The key is that it has to be something that has to be done - not something that you think you should do. That is something for another post - those pesky shoulds. Pick your thing, do it, and let me know how it was.

A No Excuses Life

Stop making excuses. I find myself in this trap often and I don't like the feeling that comes over me when I make an excuse. The remedy? Just stop making them. I am beginning to think that all there is to life is showing up. You make your own heaven and your own hell. Some people live in ways that I couldn't fathom living, but they are happy and others are in situations that continue to drive them crazy. What seems to be true everywhere is that people (me included) have a million excuses for not doing.

I don't have time.
I forgot to do that.
I was meaning to do that.

On and on, but all those excuses just add up to more nothing.

The reality is that every time I make an excuse for not doing something I am shortchanging myself and I have two real options. I can either do it or I can say I don't want to do it. Both can be difficult depending on what it is that I am supposed to be doing. Often though, if I am putting something off it is because I really don't want to do it - and wouldn't being honest about that be better than continuing to make excuses?

No, I don't want to attend a meeting where nothing gets done.

No, I don't want to meet with you and talk about something until it is dead.

No, I don't want to work on that project because it won't move anywhere.

Granted, in some situations you just HAVE to do it - and I'll talk about that more at a later date.

What I am frustrated by is my own unaccountability. That I will make excuses rather than just do something - it is as if there is some mental block to just doing what needs to be done and then stress happens because stuff piles up.

So, I propose that living a NO EXCUSES life would be easier, less stress filled, and more balanced. Things would get done, I would have integrity, and commitments would be met.

A challenge, but definitely worth considering. What is your experience with excuses?

A Weekend of Unhappy Endings

Friday: We knew that the rain was coming and it didn't disappoint. 3.22" of rain in less than 24 hours. That meant a few days of being home. We had stocked up on Thursday with things that were necessities (tea and chocolate) and settled in for a quiet day behind a rushing river.

Saturday: The day was quiet. I finished my book "Her Fearful Symmetry" and was astounded by the storytelling. A great ghost story that confirmed my uneasiness around twins - no happy ending there. After a quiet dinner, a few episodes of The Riches we were off to bed. Then at 2:00 AM we heard the unmistakable sound of a cars tires and the crash of a one car collision. We confirmed what we had heard - that we had not dreamed it - and my husband quickly dressed while I called 911.

We don't even have to look anymore we know that when we hear that sound that we need to call immediately. Living on a blind curve in the country we find ourselves to be the first responders or "Keepers of the Curve". In the 6 years that we have lived here we have been the first to call 911 on 7 crashes - all one car collisions with people ending up in the ditch. They take the curve to fast, over correct, and then end up on one side or the other.

I quickly got dressed while on the phone with 911 and raced down our hill, walking through 6 inches of freezing water. My husband was already parked (he had smartly driven down the drive) at the top of the road and I couldn't see him anywhere. I called his name only to see that the real first responder had arrived and was parked on the highway just around the bend. They were all walking into the ditch on the other side of the road. 911 confirmed that they had arrived and that more were on their way. As I made my way back to our driveway 3 more vehicles drove into the scene and an ambulance was a short distance away.

I walked quickly up the drive and got dry and back in bed with the light on listening to what was happening on the highway. Our home is over 100 years old and insulated with newspapers from the 20's making it easy to listen to the echos of the canyons. I didn't hear much and hoped for the sound of the distant helicopter.

Two hours later I called my husband as he was just walking back to his truck. One of the passengers had died and the other was seriously injured. They were young. He had been the first to get to their truck, but he was unable to help - just to observe and show the EMT's where they had landed.

The mood was somber and the stillness of the night alluded to a sad ending.

Getting Comfortable

I have been thinking lately of the idea around comfort. Why people need/want comfort. Where they get comfort. What are comforting thoughts. Of course, my thinking swirls around people who need god as part of their comfort and why I don't need that. And how I feel about them needing that.

It is true that I don't need the comfort of knowing there is a plan, god, or divine reason for anything that happens. I am comfortable knowing that it is either a process or just random chaos. Either way is fine with me. I am not sure WHY that is fine with me, but it is. I lose no sleep knowing that bad things happen, people die, or the world doesn't work the way I want it to. Granted I fret over those things day to day as they happen, but it is ok that there isn't some divine plan making them happen that way.

It seems though that other people need to think there is a divine plan. They need to know there is a reason for both good and bad. They need god.

A part of me, and I have discussed this before, thinks that this is a childish need (don't berate me again about it.). My thought is that they are either trying to replicate the loving father/mother that they had or grasping for one that they didn't have on a large scale. That would mean, to me, that they haven't processed those needs that developed very young and are attached to them. Which, on some level, is fine because we all are where we are.

I also think that some people just have a need to have answers... and god and the comfort of having a god who is in control at some level provides those answers.  I wonder if on some level there isn't so much a god gene, but rather a need for comfort gene. Or a need for answers gene.

So, where do I find comfort? In my friends, in knowing I have tried my best, in sleep, in rice pudding. Simple things bring me great comfort. I don't look outside much (except for that pudding)... I try to tap the well within that can bring me both comfort and suffering. It seems to replenish at a rapid rate and is always accessible.

What about you? Where do you find comfort? Do you need comfort?