Now just for fun think about all of your deepest flaws. Just kidding... that isn't fun. It is an assignment from my therapist while she is off getting her PhD. So, this weekend I started making the list. I started on a 3x5 card, perhaps thinking that my flaws were so few that a real paper wasn't needed. After three double sided cards I should have known better. The interesting part of this exercise wasn't the why I am flawed or how I can fix it, but just recognizing the things that are not quite right.
Now, I am not going to share the why's and how's - that is for a much longer blog post or over tea and pie, but here are some of my more obvious issues.
- I ultimately think I will be abandonded - so I keep one foot out at all times (the perfect committment phobe)
- I want closeness, but I am fearful of exposing myself
- I procrastinate - then feel bad about procrastinating - an endless cycle, actually.
- I stop taking care of myself to take care of others
- I live inside my head completely forgetting I have a body
Oh, there are more. 18 all together. Most of them run around those themes. Now the obvious thing is that my mom was very sick when I was born and throughout my childhood and I was abandoned by her to my dad who was loving but clueless. That accounts for most of the issues. The problem is that they manifest in the worst ways. I don't blame my parents. They were dealt a terrible hand of cards and played the very best they could. Now I just have to work with what I have - ahh, the fun.
So, if this was your assignment what would you say - would you do it? Would you be honest? What are a few of your significant blocks to enjoying your life - or how did you work through it all.
