Ahhh - so I am MUCH to hard on myself... I showed my list of places I was stuck or my issues to my husband last night and he said they may be there, but I do amazingly well. He said that my ability to be flexible and resilient far outweighs any of these perceived flaws. So nice to hear.
So, enough of that - I am actually pretty happy. Really. My husband is home. Did ya hear me... after 5 impossible months of loneliness we are reconciled. How does that even happen? How did I get to be so lucky? It seems amazing to me and I am thrilled that it has happened. I think it took a week for the shock to wear off and now I realize just how darn happy I am.
So, we have to relearn how to talk. So what. So we have to dive into what caused the break up in the first place. So what - that is all teeny compared to thinking I might never have had the chance to do that.
Sure, this is probably the honeymoon phase and I am just glowing in that light - who would blame me. I know that life isn't going to be easy and stuff will come up, but when your man looks at you and says that there is no other woman he would rather be with than you - well, that is special. When he says that he wants to grow old and die together - that just makes my toes happy.
I may be flawed, our relationship may need a huge an entire new blueprint, but I am downright happy to be where I am today. And those last five months of complete torture, well, to be honest, I wouldn't trade those in either. I learned a lot about myself. I learned what I want and am learning to ask for it. We grew through the pain of it, and I don't know if we would have if that separation hadn't happend. Life is strange, but even when it isn't working out according to plan there is always a bright side.
