I just got off the phone with a great friend and I realized that in the last several days I have been focused on the wrong thing. I have been frustrated and angry that I am alone which is fine, but it doesn't change the fact that I am alone. Not only that it makes me feel tired, cranky and unmotivated. So, a bit of refocusing is in order.
What can I not change: I can't change that I am alone.
What can I change: What I do with my time now that I am alone and where I am going now that I am alone.
So, what CAN I be doing instead of feeling frustrated and angry? Well, I can finish my skirt that I am embroidering, I can plant my bulbs, I can make plans to get new running shoes this week, I can start painting the huge canvas that is destined for the office, I can continue to sit & write, I can cook fabulous dinners for myself, I can relish this time alone as the gift it is. After 20 plus years of being with family constantly this is a rare opportunity and I lost sight of that.
Yes, it is understandable to be frustrated and angry with the current situation, but what does that get me? Nothing. In fact, I lose power and energy to the anger. I sleep more, I feel gloomy, and my energy is consumed by the anger. That is not the life I want to live.
So, today I refocus. I am sure that I will have to continue to refocus, but every time I do I just get clearer and clearer.
