MoxieLife

The Abstinence Teacher and One Reason I am a Unitarian

I have dived back into fiction after a long hiatus. I just couldn't wrap my head around other peoples drama when I was living out my own. My first foray back was "The Abstinence Teacher". I had actually checked this book out twice and only now did I actually crack it's spine. Tom Perotta tells the tale of a town that is undergoing the shock of a evangelical church getting its clutches on its younger population. He portrays the insidious way that they infiltrate school boards, soccer teams, and communities.

It is an interesting look at how two people and families deal with these issues. One embraces them and is saved and the other is fighting back with small but important steps. It was a delight to read his passage debating religion with a new Christian with an atheist. I felt myself in those pages and understood the frustration dealing with people who seem so far removed from my experience.

It did justify why I have continued to be a Unitarian Universalist all of these years. Going to church, being active, talking about being UU... it was for my daughter as much as it was for me. There is a part in the book where the daughter declares her love for Jesus and the mother is a bit stunned. I have to say that I would be so disappointed if that were my child. I have worked so hard to have her see the world as a place that doesn't need religion to function, that we are better then the masses from 1000 years ago who clung to superstition, that we respect the role of Jesus in the historical context and even if we are wrong and he comes back we know that the church of today is not the church he advocated.

Disappointed, no, I would be devastated. To see the world through UU eyes, specifically Humanist UU eyes was my intention in raising my daughter. That is why attending, being active, and finding value in our organization is valuable to families who reject the church dogma around them. I believe that if they do not show their children a path... they may just traipse down one that you aren't too comfortable with.

Thanks Mr. Perotta for further validating my parenting and giving me a great peak into the lives of your characters. A great way to get back into fiction.

Damn Chiggers

When I moved to the South I KNEW I was moving to a foreign country. They didn't ask for shots or passports, but they also didn't tell me about the closet racists and chiggers. Chiggers... a horrible beast that burrows into your skin and liquefies it until it gets it full and falls out. All the while causing you to itch like a mad woman.

On Saturday I thought I would do a quick weed through a new bed in the yard. I didn't spray with DEET because I figured it would be less then 10 minutes. Nothing would attack me in that time.

Ha!

Chiggers! HUNDREDS (NO EXAGGERATION) of little bites from my belly button to my knees... lets just say my nether regions are a scary site at the moment.

The cure... scratch the little buggers until they bleed, soak in oatmeal, use Benedryl.... suffer until it ends. I am telling you that the yogurt in the fridge looked like a fantastic thing to smear all over my body... I didn't do it, but it looked amazing.

So, I figure this has been just one of the worst years... it can get worse, I know.

Stay Out of the Grass!

A Little Star Struck

Some people go nuts for movie stars, rock gods, or celebrities. Not me. I am an author lover. People who spend time to commit words on paper, figure out how to get it published, and have it land in my library are my super stars! I try not to gush, but on three occasions the author of a book that I read and wrote about here on my little old blog has either emailed me, left a comment, or nodded in my direction.

It is a bit of a thrill.

It happened again yesterday, when author Michael Tonello popped over to my site. SO EXCITING!

So, you can have your rock gods... they never pop over when I gush about a song or album... no, they don't even notice. Writers they have manners... or at least they also read so when they do their little Google News Search on themselves my little blog comes up.

All I can say is extra bonus points to those who read the notes of those of us who love to read and share our thoughts! (I am not sure where those bonus points can be used at this point, but it is important to keep racking them up!)

Extra points to these authors who have stopped by too! Jeffery Yamaguchi & Kristin Nicholas.

Bringing Home the Birkin & eBay Adventures

Sometimes you just need silly! After perusing the new book shelf at the library for quite a while I settled "Bringing Home the Birkin". Not my usual book, but it did fit into my love of non-fiction! What a hoot! It is all about the exploits of a new expatriate to Spain who needs to bring home the bacon... well that is when he discovers the insatiable need for Birkins on EBay.

For those who are uninitiated, Birkin's are just purses that are made by Hermes. They are $6,000 - $30,000 bags, but just bags. Personally, I don't see the big deal, but for years they were the "It" bag of the Hollywood crowd. I guess they still are.

Anyway the book is a fun peek into both the crazy life of living overseas, romance (he meets his true love, Juan), buying ridiculously expensive things, and finally the death of him mom. I kept wondering what would make him stop this crazy life style (jet setting around the world buying Birkins with the "formula". (The formula is drop a load of cash at Hermes and then they will offer to sell you a Birkin. You can't just go in and ASK for one!) It was his mom dying that made him realize that all that stuff that people wanted was just, well, stuff. (He could have just called me and I could have told him that!)

A fun, fast read into a world that I don't want to be a part of... except... it got my daughter to thinking and she is selling some of her clothes on eBay... it was GREAT fun writing witty text for each item. Although, that might be lost on the eBay buyer, I don't know. I'll let you know how we do, although it won't be in the range of Birkin's!

"I am in a Circus!"

I wanted to write some trivial post this weekend about something happy. I did. Really. My life, currently, isn't really in the realm of happy or inspirational. I think it is falling into the "this will be funny later" category. Here is my little tale of woe.

Thursday: Fall from grace, just a reminder that I fell down the stairs.

Friday: Massive thunder storm scares a little dog out of the adjacent city park/woods onto our property. It is cold, wet, hungry and matted. We take it into the screened in porch, feed it, try to brush the leaves and sticks out of it's coat, and let it stay the night.

Saturday: I call the Humane Society and they are full, the local police station won't take the dog, the County Sheriff department says they have no facilities for a dog. We take it outside with our dog and it seems to be doing fine. I call my husband to let him know that no one will take the dog, just as the dog kills one of our chickens. Chicken in mouth, phone hung up and we are off chasing the dog. He drops the chicken as we scoop her into the car.

We decide to take the dog to the police station where we are again told that there is no room in their kennels for the dog and because we live outside of city limits they are not obligated to take the dog even though it came out of the park that is city limits.

I ask the dispatcher to call the shelter and ask them to take the dog. She says they will find a place for it so we drive over there.

That is when I step into the circus.

They can't take the dog, they have 53 dogs and no room for another, they want me to drive 50 miles into Missouri, and when I refuse I am accused of not being an animal lover. They start spouting that because I had the dog on my property over night it is now my responsibility.

I think I say something about them being clowns and we stomp out of the shelter back to the police department.

I tell the dispatcher, who is apparently on the phone with the people from the shelter, that she either can take the dog now or I am going to open my car door and let the dog out. She agrees to take the dog.

2 and a half hours later... she takes the dog. I felt like I had stepped into a land of people who don't have real rules and just started spouting "laws" at me. Things like, "you had it in your car, that makes you the owner." Crazy.

We later went home to deal with the dead chicken. A very sad thing. I love my little ladies and felt so bad that I had let one get killed.

I will spare you Saturday night and Sunday morning, but let's just say there are cat scratches, dogs throwing up, and more melodrama in our little house then one family should have.

Heres to having a better week.

Evidence of my fall from grace

Evidence of my fall from grace
Originally uploaded by goodwolve.

Well, as you can see I have either a penchant for green band aids or I cut myself. It is the latter. This morning after a delicious morning spent reading in bed I made my commute to my office upstairs. The phone rang downstairs and although I know no one ever calls that is important on that phone I ran down anyway.

The last step had a big oscillating fan on it trying to push the air conditioning upstairs and not wanting to get tangled up in that I tried to skip the last two stairs, my foot got caught on the crappy trim and down I went. A nice slice to my shin and a hefty bruise is on the way.

Then I ran around the house looking for band aids, yelling for my daughter who was tanning outside while listening to her iPod and missed the entire thing. The only washcloth I could find was a huge hand towel that had earlier been died pink in the wash from my attempt to wash too many things at once.

Needless to say I am fine, bruised and a bit bloody, but fine. Goodness, you would think these things ended when we were six!

Blatently Honest

The thing that strikes me most often in the blogs that I read is the honesty. The willingness to be bold and daring. To share exactly what is happening within our lives without leaving the difficult parts out. As far as I can tell in these 38 years is that life is hard. Really hard. Good things and bad things happen and we are asked to deal with them in a silent grace. We get up, get dressed and go to work no matter what is happening to us or around us.

That doesn't stop us from feeling. We feel sad, angry, irritated, frustrated, overwhelmed and empty. We also feel elated, happy, stunned, joyful, courageous, calm, and wild. In between that we feel silly, stupid, mean, bored, ugly, small, and confused.

In our real lives though when a friend calls to ask how I am most often I say I am fine, complain about some trivial matter, and listen to their trivial matters. No one is wailing, shrieking, or even expressing the true range of emotions that are happening in our hearts.

But online you read all of it. Sure, some posts are meant to be witty and perfectly crafted, but those aren't the ones that connect me to the writer. It is the bare emotion, truth telling, and honesty that bridges the gap. There is no screen, wires, technology between us, I am there witnessing their moment and it is an amazing place to be.

I am sure that we share more honestly online because we are not afraid of what others will think. I don't really care if people that I know in my real life read my blog, that is their time and energy. I don't censor my thoughts to make it more comfortable for them. I have also never met anyone who knows me only from reading my blog. It would be interesting because they would be starting at a place that is different then those that know me in person, perhaps knowing some of my inner thoughts rather then even knowing what I look like.

I do know that the up to the minute chronicles of pregnancies, cancer, elder care, graduate school, dating, family life, etc. draw me further into the web that is woven of our collective stories and I honestly feel honored to be part of that moment.

Best Financial Advice... EVER

I think I think a lot like Seth Godin... he is just cooler, I guess. Anyway, he just wrote a post with the best financial advice ever. Although... it will lead to a life like mine and you might not envy that!

No, I don't want to be "in the light"...

Thank you very much. My little UU Fellowship has been taken over by the light. Now, for those of you not familiar with the phrase, and really I envy you, it is "send you the light." Just nonsense. Every Sunday we have someone get up light a candle and proclaim that they are either surrounding the congregation in the light, or that we are in a column of light, or that the light is entering us.

Nothing makes my skin crawl more then airy fairy descriptions of God. Now, if you want to believe in God, more power to you, but don't hide it in "the light." Let your spirituality shine with your God loving self so we can see who you are and what you are really saying. By crouching your language in New Age ideas you are only partially hiding what you believe.

What REALLY makes me crazy though is that they think I either want to be in the light or that I also believe in the light.

I don't know what brand of UUism I am partaking in, but it isn't my version. I am not basking, drinking, calling, spinning, weaving, or drawing in the light, and I am OK with that.

Updates: Kenneth, I know my bible pretty well, and I get the reference to that as well. On that point, I don't particularly want to hear about Christian teachings each Sunday either. And you are missing the point... I just don't like them thinking that everyone sitting in the chairs on Sunday believe either in the light, in God, in the bible or anything else. They come across as they are speaking for the group and they aren't. At least they aren't speaking for me.

Earthbound: It is a Fellowship, no minister. These statements are just spoken by those lighting candles. I think what bothers me is that they assume, I too, believe in their concept of the light. I don't. I take the candle sharing moment as just that, a moment to share about our lives to our fellowship. I don't need a member lighting a candle to then "bring in the light". It would be the same as if someone said that we were now in God's love. I would feel just as uncomfortable because I don't share that belief system.

Would You Envy Me?

I have been wondering if anyone would envy my life. This feeling came after visiting a beautiful, huge new home built in my little town by a wonderful woman with more money then... well, more money then me.

Here is my current situation: I live in a 100+ year old home that is approximately 800 square feet. It is on top of a knoll surrounded by 100+ year old oak trees. We have 12 acres that is surrounded by public lands and two creeks on either side. We have no neighbors, but we are did just put in central air.. the buzz reminds me of neighbors!

I have 6 egg laying chickens, 4 baby chicks, three cats, and a super dog who I worship and who I think worships me back. We just put in a garden with three kinds of tomatoes, hot peppers, bell peppers, peas, beans, carrots, squash, watermelon, cantaloupe, winter squash, cucumbers, parsley, cilantro and basil. I have a new mint bed planted as well.

I live with my partner of 20 years and he works on again off again as a handy man construction guy for people around the area. He drives a 20 year old truck that was given to him three years ago by friends on his birthday. He is a beautiful man who has given me more in spirit then I have given him in comfortable thngs.

Our daughter is 18 and on her way to Hendrix College in the fall. Her typical week night consisted (last week anyway) of baking three small cakes to give away to family friends, working on an embroidery project, swimming in our small kiddie pool, and hanging out watching movies with us. She is, for the most part, pretty easy going and a delight to be around.

We don't buy much, pay cash for everything that we do, we don't travel much, we often make things that others buy (pickles, cheese, tomato cages, etc.). We live at or below what most would consider the poverty line because I gave up my big corporate marketing job to move to rural America, and work at home giving my services to smaller businesses who need them to succeed. (OK, I am a bit altruistic about what I do for  a living... I have to justify it somehow.)

So, would you trade to live in my life? Would you live without medical insurance, security and things? Would you enjoy getting up early to catch an escaped chicken? Would you sew or thrift shop most of your clothes and home decor?

Is there anything envious about this? Or is everyone still rushing to live in a bigger home, with more stuff, and the hopes that will make them happy. I have to say I left that huge home feeling that no one would be interested in the little life that my family has carved out for ourselves. Somehow I felt that we had dove off the cliff and no one is following.