Well, I had started a new path to help build new spiritual practices by drinking more water and doing morning pages. Even in the chaos I call my life they seemed to build within me a sense of purpose or peace... or something.
I was successful at doing the water. It was easy to add more water to my diet... I just didn't drink other things. Instead of soda or juice I chose water. The plus was that I lost 2 pounds. Not bad. My skin looked better and I just feel better. This I will continue. Maybe I won't mark the water consumption on the calendar like I have been, but I will consciously choose water.
The morning pages were harder. I had great intentions to do them everyday, but I couldn't find the time on the weekends or I resisted doing them. I also made little effort to get up earlier to find the time. What I did find that works was to just do them whenever I had the time or the inclination. So, if after dinner I had a moment I would write three pages. It felt better to give myself the permission to not follow the rules. Rules that are made up anyway.
The interesting thing about the morning pages or pages was that I felt better. I felt like I was complaining less. I felt as if I could focus on tasks better. I felt more at one. One with me, my thoughts, my life. I touched on things that were difficult and then was able to communicate those ideas to my husband in ways that were meaningful and not filled with suffering. I could just talk about things that I was thinking about. It was if my head got clear and then I could speak clearly.
My goal is to keep both of these practices. Small spiritual steps. Now I am looking at two more practices to add. Perhaps meditation/sitting, maybe walking, maybe some form of prayer. I am not sure. I will let you know in the next week or so what micro-steps I take.