MoxieLife

Observing World AIDS Day... for 20 Years

As I listen to the global numbers for AIDS it seems hopeless. 20 years ago my brother died of AIDS. This was before they knew very much about the disease. He was a test subject in a way because he bought the AIDS medication in Mexico before it was legal in the US. He finally died of complications of pneumonia. The times were quite terrible in the gay community. His partner died a year before he did and most of his friends were dying, but no one really knew what it was.

I remember the gloves and gowns they made us wear in the hospital. They were so worried about the family getting it... whatever it was.

I am still sad after all these years that my husband and daughter didn't get to meet him. He was obnoxious, funny, and full of life. He was an artist and a fantastic brother. He bought me my first rainbow painted yellow banana seat bicycle. He taught me to drive. He was perfect, to me.

I miss him and stopping the spread of AIDS worldwide just has to happen so other people aren't missing their mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters 20 years from now.

Crazy College Questions

My Sparkly Girl is applying to college and after many quite boring applications she came across this questionnaire for her first choice school:

Favorite movie?
Favorite place to get away from it all?
Favorite writing?
Favorite cereal?
Favorite keepsake or memento?
Best advice you ever received?
Favorite hobby?
Most beautiful thing you've ever seen?
Four guests at your fantasy dinner?
Favorite candy?
Three things you'd take to a deserted island?

Well, we know that these kinds of questions do not have wrong or right answers, but she thought about them for a long time last night. I won't give you all her answers,but here are a few.

Favorite cereal? My favorite cereal is Marshmallow Mateys, the off brand of Lucky Charms, much better because of the pirate related shapes of the cereal.

Favorite keepsake or memento? Fred, my stuffed blue dinosaur

Four guests at your fantasy dinner? I would invite Bono, the winner of Paige's Super Fantasy Dinner Contest, Oprah, and Queen Elizabeth I.

Three things you'd take to a deserted island? Fred (from above), tanning lotion, and Martha Stewart or one of her assistants because they could craft things out of the jungle growth to make our stay more comfortable.

Clever? Yes, for a 17 year old girl who is dying to get into this particular college... will it make a difference? Who knows.

A little time off

I took some time off from blogging... not on purpose really, but to finish up our big house clean out project. It was SO worth it. We were able to get rid of 50 garbage bags of give-away and a dumpster full of trash. I feel so refreshed from the work and the clearing out.

You are probably wondering why we had so much crap in the first place. Well, when we moved from San Francisco to the Ozarks we did it really fast. Not much planning and we just stuffed random stuff in boxes without labeling them. Our newly rented house was half the size of our previous home so we just kept most of it in the same boxes. Then when we bought the home we are living in we went down another 300 square feet and moved in a weekend. Another cramming of boxes that we shoved in every available spot in the house and sheds.

Can you see a running theme here.

So after 4 years of living in the house we decided to tackle our stuff. It is a hard process because you have to touch everything and decide if it is something you are keeping or giving away. And although I don't want to admit that objects have value and meaning for me... they do.

But I was ready to be heartless.

So, the toys, books, knick knacks, dishes, and other items were off to many thrift shops... and I feel lighter. I feel as if I can walk through my home without feeling claustrophobic.

It feels fantastic.

10 Things You May or May Not Know About Me

Here is a list of ten silly and possibly interesting things you may or may not know about me:

1. I am not married. My partner and I have been together for 18 years, but we never tied the knot.
2. I work from home for a variety of clients doing graphic design, marketing, pr & account management.
3. Police scare me.
4. I have lived in an intentional community and with nuns (at different times).
5. When I was 18 my brother died of AIDS.
6. I have always had a cat. We have three now: Beau, Sweetpea and Emmy.
7. When I was little I was both in the Mentally Gifted Minors (the kids used to call it Mentally Gifted Monkeys) class and in a special physical education class. I was smart, but I was pigeon toed.
8. I drove myself when I was 16 to get my drivers license... this probably started my fear of the police.
9. My family calls me the Supreme Reader of the World, but the library probably calls me the late charge queen!
10. When I was little I used to sing a song about loving my butt. I still really love my butt.

More then you probably wanted to know... and possibly not that interesting...

Am I Being Selfish?

I have been thinking a lot lately about living the life that I love, living with purpose and intention, and working towards greater goals. (It must have been the 5 Year Plan exercise my sweetie proposed we do.) In my life I have done some great things, but a lot of my life has been dictated or shaped around circumstances or family. The choices I have made are not always based on my ideals. No ones fault but my own.

My thought now though is that I can take more control of who I am and what I want to do... pleasing other people or trying to live up to their expectations or image of me isn't where I want to be.

The problem I struggle with is the idea that this is selfish.

Is it selfish to live life by your own terms?

Women's work is still free

We had a lovely speaker at church last Sunday representing the CASA program. CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) is a national nonprofit group that volunteers to help foster children. They say on their site that 95% of children do not languish in         long-term foster care and 90% of children do not reenter the child         welfare system with intervention from their services.

The work that she described was heartbreaking. The families are broken, the children are damaged, and they are all victims. Putting the pieces together for these children is hard work. Work that hurts your heart.

And you do not get paid.

It was an observation of a church buddy of mine that because it is women's work it is undervalued. Don't we think the care and upbringing of children is worth something. Don't we think if we have to appoint someone to intervene in the life of a child that person should get paid to do that.

This drives me crazy.

I believe that the importance of this work should be valued. I believe that things like this allow the system to be broken, work to be undervalued, and qualified people can't help because of those things. I wonder how many women and men would do this work if it was paid appropriately. In the current picture though it seems that the children and the women doing the work are undervalued.

That makes me sad.
 

Our Five Year Plan

On Sunday my partner decided that we would create Five Year Plans on three by five cards... the size was so it did not intimidate us. Larger paper can be scary. After the usual groaning from us we dug into our project. The idea was to briefly list things that you want to be doing or accomplishing in five years. Easy enough. I will be 43 in 2012... still young, I think. My list included:

• Running a 5K race - this may not seem like much, but this is going from the couch potato status that I am in today to running. I know that it won't take five years to accomplish this, but I thought if I put it in writing it would seem more real as a goal.
• Publishing a book - I have two books that are in my head. A party planning book for children's parties. We are the gurus of party planning on a  budget with really fun and highly successful parties. Parties that children and parents talk about for years to come! I also would like to write a young adult novel. This genre has just boomed and I would love to be part of that.
• Having a massive garden - now this is going to be hard because we are horrible gardeners. We have had two successes this year (pumpkins which we did nothing to and zinnias). This has to expand and be more viable! We should be better at this.
• Starting a non-profit - I don't know if I really want to start a non-profit, but I know I want to start something that makes an impact in the world. It maybe that I just become more active politically, or become a speaker or advocate for a cause.

So, that is a brief look into where I want to go in the future... of course there are the more far fetched fun plans like moving to France, going back to school, or opening a coffeehouse.

Except for the gardening, I think I can actually do those things!

What is on your five year plan?

UU Online Book Club: Thoughts about war

Kahaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns portrays war as it effects everyday people. It is often, in my opinion, a difficult thing to read. I would love to know how reading the book changed your ideas about war or reconfirmed your feelings about it. I know that when My Sparkly Girl read it this was the theme that most effected her. She talked long into the night with me about what the casualties of war really means. What are your thoughts?

UU Online Book Club: A Thousand Splendid Suns

I know that the abuse is something that was difficult for readers and I wanted to explore this question:

"Mariam's mother tells her: "Women like us. We endure. It's all we have." Discuss how this sentiment informs Mariam's life and how it relates to the larger themes of the novel.
 

Kahaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns: Overall Review

This is our first month of the Online UU Book Club and the selection was: Kahaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns. To start the Club off I thought I would first ask you what you thought of the book. Did you love it? Was it profound for you? Did you hate it? Was it too graphic? Was the hype more then the book itself?