MoxieLife

Happy New Year Pagans!

Years ago I was involved with Reclaiming and Starhawk's big Halloween/Spiral Dance ritual that was held at Fort Mason. My family and friends created the west altar. It was, I remember, a frustrating moment working with a woman who had a vision that not all of us agreed with, but in the end the product was nice.

For those of you that don't know, today marks the New Year celebration for Pagans. It is a time to honor the dead and to move on to the future. Starhawk has a lovely reading she does about the Island of Apples, but the most significant moment of the ritual is the reading of names. These are names of those that passed during the year. At a large public ritual that list is long. I love the idea that we take a moment to reflect and remember those that have passed.

I no longer celebrate the Pagan holidays in the manner that I did. Mostly because I found the rituals too clouded in the participants experiences with Catholicism or Christianity for my liking. Most people don't fall too far from the tree. I also didn't like the "made up" feeling that they had. Mostly they lost meaning for me.

I do honor those holidays in my heart though because I know that my ancestors throughout time have worshiped the sun and the moon and the celebration of Solstice or May Day seems more in keeping with natures cycles then the appropriated holidays they have become.

Elbow, Earlobe, Vagina... aren't they all just words

So, when you are sick you do things like watch The View. Sinus headaches, fevers, and coughing can cause you to do all kinds of crazy things. Well, Barbara Walters and Whoopie wanted to talk about the word vagina. Apparently Oprah and Tyra Banks now call it a Va Jay Jay because that is what they call it on Grey's Anatomy. (Don't get me on how a popular TV drama can infect society.)

What is wrong with the word vagina? I don't know about you, but I do not have a Hoo-Hoo, cootchie, Little Sister, or other nonsense. I have a vagina. I also have elbows and earlobes, but I don't hear anyone going nuts because you say those words out loud.

Doesn't it seem juvenile that in our society we can't say vagina or penis without breaking into giggles. They can show a team of doctors sawing off a mans foot in surgery on television, but they can't say vagina. Something seems wrong here.

If you think about the idea that the words can't be said in public doesn't that make them seem secret or shameful? Doesn't that, possibly, lead to the issues that we have in our society about rape, sexual repression, and other issues involving our sexuality.

I know that in private couples may have baby names for their sexual play or parts, but I always felt that it was infantile. I want my partner to be confident in his understanding of my body as a body and I want the capacity and courage to talk about my body frankly and honestly. Hiding behind cute names makes me feel as if I should be ashamed of the parts that were given to me. I don't have time or energy for that.

So, here's to women and men who have a vagina or penis and who are able to call it like they see it. I am disappointed in you Oprah, Tyra, and Whoopie!

I am NOT Crabby!

I have a cold. I am a total baby when I have a cold. I don't want to do anything but cuddle up in a quilt and sit on the couch. Thank goodness I am work at home and my lovely attire isn't on view for the world to see!

Do you think people see you different then you see yourself? I ask this because I totally do. I think, for one, my partner thinks I am super crabby and see the world as mostly negative. I don't think I am crabby at all! And I am an actual diagnosed Pollyanna complex so I know that I see most things through rose colored glasses.

I think other people see me as brash, bold and sometimes obnoxious. I see myself as kind of shy, often outspoken on ideas that make other people uncomfortable, and anxious to please.

It is interesting to me that we get it so wrong. We try so hard to be one way, but through the lenses of others experiences we are where they see us regardless of our intentions... best and otherwise.

Going back to the quilt now...

UU's, Atheists, Pagans & Jews OH MY!

Critiquing my church services is one of my favorite things to do. I haven't done much of that this month because I was the planner for the services and I am thrilled with how they have turned out. What can I say... I love my own work.

The first Sunday I had the co-minister from the Fayetteville church speak. She was lovely. She talked about Nuns and Heretics and although I didn't love the reference that Atheists were like dinosaurs and people who believed in God were Butterflies the service was well prepared and she was a great speaker.

Next were the Atheists from the Fayetteville Freethinkers. They were a great group who argued that there is not God and that religion ruins society. They, of course, were right in my book, but even if you were a believer they would have been entertaining. The best part, for me, was when someone in the congregation said that when he looked outside that was evidence of God and Doug Krueger said, "do you think that Atheists can't see trees and flowers?" Priceless humor.

Today was a fantastic talk by my friend Gerry on being Pagan and a discussion the Wheel of the Year. She drew the connections between Christian holidays and pagan holidays. There were notable moments of clarity for people in the audience. A beautiful moment for a program planner.

Next week I have the president of the Temple in Fayetteville who will speak about Jews in Northwest Arkansas. I am excited to hear both the history and the current movements actions.

I have to admit my ego has been boosted because three people said today that the programs have been fantastic. That they noticed they were planned by me and they were thrilled with each offering.

It is really hard work to find speakers that are interesteing, new, and innovative. We have heard every nonprofit, every arts program, every hippy dippy new ager, and practically every one in Eureka Springs. Moving outside of our box is hard but very gratifying.

It was my goal to provide services that reflected where I was coming as a person and that meant reaching out of my community to people I knew and didn't know. I want Sunday to be special for everyone.

I reached three and I am happy.

Farm Update

Let me just say that we are terrible farmers. Really terrible. We have had 7 chickens eaten by coyotes. We were only successful at getting three bell peppers and our compost bin looks a bit worse for wear lately. That said, we are incredible pumpkin growers!

We decided to plant pumpkin seeds where the grey water from our washing machine spills out. These are not pumpkins we are going to consume so the bacteria that they might have from the suds in our jeans is just fine. These are meant just for carving on Halloween.

And boy oh boy! They look great! They are huge. We didn't water them once and nothing has eaten them. I don't know if it was just dumb luck, but we sure have beautiful orange globes of pumpkin!

Does Breaking Up Online Count?

Is this the new way to communicate for the Next Generation? They change their Facebook relationship status from in a relationship to single and that means that they have broken up with their girlfriend?

Remember watching the episode from Sex in the City when she complained that Berger broke up with her on a Post-It? That was bad, but what happened to my daughter is worse.

She was broken up with on Facebook.

How weird is that?

Now, they have been dating for 2 years. They are in high school. They are in the same class. They sit across from each other every day. He hasn't said anything to her about breaking up.

There were issues. There were arguments. There were tears, but those words were not said.

For those of you who do not have a Facebook account or a teenager the way it works is you can say you are in a relationship with another person on Facebook and when that relationship ends you can un-relate, I guess. I always thought though that you would say the words to each other. It wouldn't be something you learned by checking Facebook.

I vote for this as the WORST way ever to break up with someone. Obviously technology isn't helping.

Second Runner Up... Not Bad!

It has been a busy two weeks, but I wanted to take a moment to congratulate My Sparkly Girl on winning Second Runner Up in the Eureka Springs 60th Annual Folk Festival Queen's Contest. She was beautiful, charming, and just so cute up there on that big stage.

You must understand that she is, actually, against pageants. She hates the whole idea of being judged on how you look. She was asked by her school to represent them in the contest because they had never had a student participate and they thought she would be perfect. She thought about it for a long time and finally relented because she realized it was more about community spirit then a beauty contest.

The girls were fitted in beautiful Victorian costumes, practiced twice a week for three weeks, had a personal interview with the three judges, a luncheon in their honor, got their hair done, wrote speeches, and basically became consumed by all things Queen.

The girls were so nice to My Sparkly Girl that she was thrilled to have been a part of the festivities. The afternoon of the actual contest she told me that she would be happy to be 2nd Runner Up because it was solidly in the middle of the line up and she felt that the girls who really wanted to win should win (and they did!) She was just happy that they were kind and courteous to her, an outsider from the funky hippy school.

So, everyone had their dream come true for one lovely evening in Eureka Springs.

Maybe we are all saying the same thing

"God told me to buy that dress."

"I saw that dress and knew I was ready to wear it to my job to ask for the promotion."

"I just loved the dress and it was on sale."

All of those reasons to buy the dress are reasonable. They are where you are. If you are more comfortable, for whatever reason, using language that embraces a familiar religious undertone that is fine. The unfortunate part is that I have that censor in my head thinking that you aren't very evolved in your thinking that you are clinging to primitive explanations for the world around you rather then just taking responsibility for how things actually are.

Harsh, but that is how my head wraps around God Talk. I understand you perfectly, but I am dismayed at your language choice and belief system.

Granted, we both got the dress and we both justified it how we saw fit. Which one of us is right anyway?

Are we a minority?

It is no secret that I grew up in a Unitarian church that never talked about God. We were a politically active church engaged in nuclear disarmament, womens rights, and poverty issues. We weren't praying, praising, or celebrating anything remotely spiritual.

Now my own search for meaning has placed me with Mormons, Catholic Nuns, Evangelical Christians, Pagans, Buddhists, Hindu's and Atheists. I appreciate each of their paths. I see how we are all searching for the same explanations but are going about it in different ways.

I am shocked though that in my own Fellowship over half of a large sampled group believe in God with a capital G. I thought for sure there were more Humanists or Atheists in our crowd, but alas we are sharing the space with devout believers.

I never realized I was a minority.

Not believing in God is just how it is for me. I understand that we can all view a situation and put it in the context that we feel most comfortable with. For instance you get the perfect job: You may say it was God's plan, the Buddhist may say it you were ready, the scientist might say that there was a pattern... and I say perhaps I was just paying attention or it was coincidence. Each of these are fine ways into seeing things.

I just thought, in my Fellowship, more people saw it my way.

I guess not.

Does Six Make a Protest?

I think we surprised the circus by coming out to protest. They looked at us oddly and called the sheriff to watch over us. Which, of course, made it a bit more exciting then it was.

Six lovely ladies came out to support the protest to end cruelty of exotic animals. This included two teenage girls who had friends inside watching the circus. It was a small group, but the conviction that hurting animals for entertainment was strong and the kindness was evident.

We were told, "There is something wrong with your brains", "Go home", and "Maybe we should let them all free." Which our protest then muttered, "Why don't you stop breeding."

A good time by all.

Apparently we caused some ruffled feathers in our fair town that the cause wasn't "important" enough. Which is an interesting thought. What is important enough to protest? In my mind it is anything that you feel is unjust.

What do you feel strongly about?