MoxieLife

Blogs you are going to love!

Well, it is blog day and I thought that I would share five blogs that I like and that I thought you would like. Of course, knowing me they are eclectic and I would love to know what you thought about any of them. I would also love to know what you read on a regular basis. There are so many hidden gems who knows where they might lead us.

My first choice of blogs I would like to celebrate is the Wisdom of the Hands blog. It is written by a friend of mine and a teacher at my daughters school and is an amazing celebration of working with your hands and teaching that skill. Doug is someone that I both admire his work as well as his life and reading his blog reminds me to look deeper at everything.

Then I move onto 52 Projects. If you do not know about this fantastic little book turned blog you need to check it out. Jeffrey Yamaguchi wrote a charming little book about the importance of projects in your life. They are the big and little things that you do to create more excitement, develop new skills, or just measure your existence in life. I am always thrilled with the creativity I find on the site.

Along the same lines of 52 Projects is Whip Up. This is a collection of craft articles, how-to's, gleanings, and more found on the web by some of todays most innovative crafters. Although I don't create many of the projects in my life I am thrilled by the creativity.

I have been reading French Toast Girl for years now and how can you not love someone who unabashedly sings out loud to John Denver whenever the mood strikes her. She has inspired me to create my own chalk quotations on sidewalks and her love of her family is just beautiful. A good personal read.

Counterfeit Humans is a blog that I recently found and I am thrilled! It is a humorous insight into the stupidity of people. She captures the crazy behavior of drivers, mall workers, and the human race with such clarity it is a bit scary. A fun read.

I hope that you find something that you just love and share with me what you are loving!

Practical Advice to Dealing with Women Haters

It seems that we have all run into women who are hurtful, mean spirited, and downright nasty. It also seems that we each have ways to not engage these women.

Ms. Theologian writes "And here's why we don't want to overshare at work: we give up control and we give up power over that information. Once it's out, it's out. Oversharing often leaves an icky feeling, which I consider to be a reliable internal barometer of when I've overstepped a boundary."

Lizard Eater notes "Like many females, I have often offered up sharing as a way to bond. It is the equivalent of showing the soft white underbelly, making oneself vulnerable as a gift." She suggests we just shut up. Not a bad idea.

So, the idea is if we stop sharing these women won't have anything to hang onto. That seems like a fair assessment.

Here is the challenge though. Let's say that you have already over shared. (You are a Chronic Sharer remember... this isn't going to be easy to stop.) You didn't just shut up and now she is going in for the kill. What do you do then?

How do you not get entangles?

How do you walk around as if it isn't happening... or how do you effectively stop the behavior in it's tracks?

Celebrate Annual Blog Day

This looks like fun! I will participate! I hope that you will too. How fun to find something that might possibly just love!

BlogDay posting instructions:                

1. Find 5 new Blogs that you find interesting
2. Notify the 5 bloggers that you are recommending them as part of BlogDay 2007
3. Write a short description of the Blogs and place a link to the recommended Blogs
4. Post the BlogDay Post (on August 31st) and
5. Add the BlogDay tag using this link:
                   http://technorati.com/tag/BlogDay2007 and a link to the BlogDay web site at                 http://www.blogday.org

Chronic Sharing Syndrome

As you can see from my last post I have run into quite a few Women Haters. Here is a quick rundown of the cast of characters throughout my life.

• Ms Z: A woman who wouldn't take me seriously until I was over 30. I was 24 at the time. This meant no raise and no promotion.
• Lady SM: A wildly egocentric artist who told me who my friends could and couldn't be.
• Lane: A woman who chose to cut off my friendship to "get ahead". She eventually got fired.
• June Cleaver: A cheery woman on the surface but a nervous breakdown waiting to happen.
• Lying Lou Lou: A fake southern belle that would lie right to your face without breaking a sweat.
• Miss Silly: A woman who was so threatened that I would find her out she held unlawful meetings with commissioners to convince them to fire me. She won.
• There of course were the unhappy actress, the unfulfilled artist who gave me a bloody nose, the vicious blond, the crazed old lady, the ADD inspired lunatic... all like a bad "who done it" novel.

Now I see that it is my Chronic Sharing Syndrome that might leave the door wide open for these ladies. That and my over aching need to please. If only I developed that stony exterior that led to mystery rather than a mouth the size of the Grand Canyon!

I just feel like life should be an open book. There are no secrets. We are all sisters. Kumbya by the fireside... only to be in tears like a 16 year old on my pillow by some nasty thing that was said or worse done behind or in front of my back.

I admit, that I need to find a way to work with these kinds of women because they seem to be everywhere, but goodness knows patterns are hard to break.

What are we doing about this? Why aren't we growing up beyond our formative school years? It seems that the opportunity of education to mold and model good behavior is lost and we are stuck with the same difficult people generation after generation. Are mean girls really insecure? If so why aren't we trying to help them love themselves if for no other reason then not becoming Women Haters.

Maybe, as Lizard Eater states, we do need The Rules. Maybe we aren't quite ready to figure it out ourselves.

I know that if men are reading this they are either unaware of this issue or they have had a wife/girlfriend cry about it to them and they just don't know what to do about it. It doesn't happen to them. Although, I am sure that they have other haters that they deal with.

So, are there any specific tips to stop Chronic Sharing Syndrome?

Are woman haters grown up mean girls?

Have you worked with women who would sell you out to get ahead? Have you been brutally hurt by women that back stab you without a second thought? I am talking about Mean Women. These are women who were mean girls in high school and grew up to be mean women in the office, committee, or nonprofit organization. I don't know what special kind of karma I have, but I have had the opportunity to run across many of these women.

It usually starts like this: I notice that they are not too great at whatever job that they are performing and although I don't say anything to them they know that I know. I see through their facade so to speak. Well, that is when they quickly dive into make the kill.

I have no idea how to deal with these women. I have read all about Mean Girls. Especially when my daughter started middle school and Queen Bees and Wannabes came out, but there isn't anything about the Mean Women. They are women that have no idea what it means to have actual women as allies and friends. They are, at least in my life, everywhere.

How to spot a Woman Hater:

• They will act superior at all times.
• They will talk about you behind your back but in a way that you easily find out.
• They will possibly try to act as your friend.
• They will work to either undermine your position, but usually they want to have you removed completely.

I don't remember them in high school, but I was oblivious to a lot of things when I was a teenager. With that I didn't know learn the essential skills needed to deal with these women. I am on the ongoing search for the perfect way to deal with these women. Have any of you had any way to deal with these women? I have more specific moments with these kinds of women and I might share... if I feel like I can do it without having to relive it.

UFO's, Unitarians & Updates

UFO's have landed at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship in Eureka Springs. Don't be alarmed. This is just a quick meeting to help you all understand that we exist. We will disappear after the coffee hour. We promise. I was dreading Sunday's service at church. It was being given by a gentleman that believes that he was abducted by aliens not once but SEVEN times. This is what happens to a Unitarian Fellowship that can't afford a part time minister. We are given the opportunity to sit through hours of drivel. Granted, I think some of the people in our little audience believe in aliens and I suppose that our principals allow for the existence and acceptance of people who do, but come on! I thought we were a church that believed in the truth proven by science! UFOs! Goodness. The best part was when he said that he wasn't at liberty to talk about the recent evidence of alien implants. Thank god someone has that information under wraps!

I am planning the month of Sundays in October and I know that it is hard to get speakers, but I think we have now reached the bottom of the barrel... or some might say that we have landed in the stars!

Creative Update: So, I guess there are no poets in the house... or superheros and relative meetings didn't inspire you! No problem. I will continue going through my archive of creative inspiration and will post a new, perhaps more engaging, contest soon!

Family Update: Today marks my Sparkly Girl's first day of school and last year of high school. She is a senior in high school and although she is looking down the road to college I know that it is important to her to create a fantastic senior year! She goes to a very small independent private school in our very small town. There are currently 5 students in the senior class, three of them are boys, one is a Japanese exchange student and her. She knows that this isn't your typical high school class, but she is hoping that it will be everything she has dreamed it would be. It is my goal to help her create the most of what she has while always dreaming of the moon. Last night while laying on the floor with my dog looking up at my ceiling I realized that one of the possibilities of getting older is that your world can get smaller... I want her world to be HUGE! That, really, is my wish for everyone.

Goodbye Jane Magazine

This is what we got in the mail this week. A notice that Jane Magazine was ceasing publication and that we would be getting Glamour as a replacement.

My Sparkly Girl and I don't want Glamour. We LOVED Jane. For those of you who remember Sassy Magazine it was a little bit like that. A little Edgy, but fun and flirty. Great articles, fun fashion and a  simple way to relive my younger days.

My Sparkly Girl LOVED Jane. It was the magazine that she looked forward to. She would plan outfits based on the looks in Jane and I think even secretly hoped to intern there someday while in college. All gone.

For those of you who don't know I was raised by my father and my sense of fashion is well... thrift store chic. I tend to stick with jeans and a white blouse because that seems classic and simple. Granted, as I confessed here I just learned that you are supposed to wear a beige bra with a white blouse.

So, as you can see I need all the help I can get and unfortunately it is gone. A sad day indeed.

Part of my Journey

I thought that it would be fun to share some of my personal religious journey. Although possibly not incredibly exciting it does show the meanderings of a Unitarian Universalist on her personal quest of spiritual fulfillment.

I was raised in the Anaheim Unitarian Society in Southern California. My parents helped form that church after being active in the Emerson Society in college. This was definitely a society and not a church. You would more often find a political rally then a prayer service. It was the early 70's so there was a lot of smart hippy/old school beatnik folks in attendance.

After my parents divorce we started attending the Fullerton Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. We met in a bank and the minister was a divorced mother of three daughters, Dori Summers. I remember the day I was dedicated clearly. I think there were only 3 or 4 youth members in attendance and I remember huge parties at a woman's house who had a goat that wandered through the halls.

We stopped going to any UU church for a while after my parents remarried. I don't know why exactly because we always identified ourselves as UU, but I am sure there was some kind of falling out. That is usually the way with members and churches.

So, in my high school years I started to attend the Mormon church with my best friend. I have always loved the Mormon family and church customs that they went through. The missionary dinners, family home evening, and (what seemed like) all day church on Sunday. I even liked the silly outfits that my friends mom wore under her house dress on Sundays. It all seemed so American. So quaint. Anyway, I started attending the early morning classes that they hold for high school students and was eventually baptized Mormon. I was totally into this guy who played Jesus in Jesus Christ Super Star who wanted me to just lay on top of him...  the Mormon church may not talk about sexuality, but they have very hot teens doing odd teen things. As all good things must... the crush and the attraction to the Mormon church.... it came to an end.

It was then that I started going to the Knott Avenue Christian Church near my home. It was your typical evangelical Christian church. They had a strong young adult bible study on Wednesday nights that met at a friend of my aunt and uncles. I attended mostly because I liked the music, the gay music leader (who may not be out of the closet and definitely wasn't then), I had some girl friends who went, and a really cute guy.
I was, again, baptized.

At this point in the story I should say that I just have my bases covered for the heaven and hell I do not believe in but so many others do.

I left with that cute boy... who is now my husband... and we haven't looked back. More on that story later!

So, I am back in the UU church having attended Orange Coast, San Francisco, and now the Eureka Springs Fellowship. I never really left. I was just trying things on for size and nothing fits like being a UU.

Black & White All Over

My Sparkly Girl and I went to see Hairspray and although I was reluctant to go I was pleasantly surprised at how fun it was.

You have to love a moment when a mom ties up her daughter, throws holy water on her, and calls her a devil child... well at least I love those cinematic moments. My Sparkly Girl was worried though when I laughed out loud in the theater because we were viewing the movie in the little town of Berryville and they are not known for their great tolerance. I think she was worried they would be outside to tar and feather me, but goodness if they show a film with men in drag they have to know that all kinds of folks will come to watch it. Even left leaning laughing ones!

Speaking of, I don't think the young preteen girls next to us KNEW that it was a man playing a woman. There are women who are that big and well... manly in this region and I think they thought she was just, well, a she. Which, again, cracks me up!

The darker side of the evening came when My Sparkly Girl and I were discussing the state of television today and we don' t think that the idea of integrated television really has made many inroads.

There is Everyone Loves Raymond (the white show) and Everyone Hates Chris (the black show).

It seems that on most sitcoms there may be a black character, but they are never the focus. They are just the friend or neighbor. Then there are shows with Latinos, but again they don't dominate the airwaves. What about Asians? They can be news anchors, but where are they in family shows? The best integration seems to happen at the reality TV level, but who is watching that anymore?

It is a sad statement that in 2007 we really still have segregated television.

A Creative Moment

For those that were interested in some of the concepts that I used to teach during my creativity for people who thought they weren't creative workshops I thought I would post small pieces now and then. I hope you find them as exciting as I have.

This particular idea is adapted from the book The Practice of Poetry. It is a fantastic compilation of exercises and starts for the stuck poet and writer. It also draws upon the work of Kenneth Koch who worked with students in New York for years and wrote some great books on teaching poetry to young people.

Creative Inspiration for the stuck poet and writer (even if you don't think you are a poet or writer): Write a poem that introduces a family member and a superhero. Of course, this is an imaginary encounter, but because you know your family so well the poem can be rich in reality. There aren't any other rules except I think it is fun to use either my most repressed relative or my most flamboyant. It also works well to have this be a rather long poem of 20 - 30 lines but that isn't necessary and there is no particular form of verse ether.

I am hopeless to spark interest in my blog and I happen to love contests! So, (drum roll) I am hosting a contest! I have an EXTRA copy of The Practice of Poetry and if you submit a poem by Sunday, August 26th in the comments field using this exercise you will be entered to win. You will love the book and if you don't pass it onto either a teacher or poet you know who would. Poems will be judged by my family (so if you don't win do not think you aren't a great poet, we are just people... not professionals) and there will be one lucky winner. Enter away!