I have been having trouble figuring out how to balance my life. How to have enough time to be creative, fix wonderful meals, play cards with my daughter, talk to my parents, relate with my husband, exercise, read, work full time, balance my check book, watch intelligent movies, feel something remotely spiritual...
I have this incredibly nagging feeling that I never truly separated from my parents (their ideas, views, concepts of me). I have talked with them on the phone at least 325 days a year for my entire adult life. I love them, but it seems more like a sense of obligation rather then a choice of wanting to be close to them. Last February I moved them to my small town because they were dying... or were old... or kept ending up in the emergency room. Now not only do I feel I have to call them, but I have to see them.
It sounds so trivial, but I think I never became who I should have become because I was tied to them. Granted, they are liberal, bright, educated people, but still they have a version of me in their head. I feel stifled by that vision and at 36 this just sounds pathetic.
How do you love your parents, but separate. Gently. Before they really do die.
