My Sparkly Girl and Mr Pot celebrated their one year anniversary yesterday. They had both made plans, but decided on the picnic that My Sparkly Girl had arranged. A low key afternoon. They walked the twenty minuets to the Point in Lake Leatherwood, had a camp fire, at croissant sandwiches and enjoyed one another company. In the evening though My Sparkly Girl was so sad that the day had gone by so fast. That there was no way to commemorate just how special the day was. A year is a long time to a 15 year old.
My heart went out to her because I remember the many Christmas holidays that were filled with expectation that were ruined by an angry word or a frustrated family member. I was so sensitive to it all, and wanted it to be so perfect, that even if I wasn't involved in the conflict I would run into my room crying that the day was ruined. They weren't even terrible fights as I remember now. They were disagreements or a callous word said about the cooking. They weren't heated arguments or violent eruptions. Still my expectations were greater then any day could hold and the moment was ruined for me.
So, in my adult life My Partner in Kindness do not celebrate an anniversary. There is no special day for us and I have never regretted that decision. Partially it is because we are not officially married after 17 years, but also because I don't think any celebration would be perfect enough. I love that others celebrate in a grand fashion. It makes me so happy to think of couples sitting in dark restaurants sipping champagne to celebrate their big day, but for me every moment that I have to spend with My Partner in Kindness is a day of celebration or at least mild joy. That is enough for me.
I know that my reaction as a child is the reason for this lack of Celebrating with a capital C. I definitely see the pattern, but in a way I am grateful that I can be happy when he brings me plain m&m's from the grocery store when they weren't on the list.
So, my heart goes out to all the women and girls who want the perfect celebration for the big day. Take a moment to remember all the little kindnesses that you special someone has done for you and even if the day doesn't last long enough, you don't receive the right gift, or you are sick with a cold you get to share it all with the person who put up with you for one more year and who, hopefully, loves you more every day.
