MoxieLife

Embracing Y'all

Now, everyone knows I am not a Southern Lady. I never will be - there are just too many nuances to learn and I just don't have the social graces - but there is one tradition that I have embraced whole heartedly.

Y'all.

It is by far the best greeting ever. It is inclusive. It is kind. It is uplifting. It is friendly. It is everything I ever wanted when I was saying hello and there is nothing better than, "Hi y'all!"

Coming from California, I used to say "Hey, guys." (I still do, old habits die hard.) I never liked it though because 79% of the time I was addressing just women. Last time I checked women are not men so they aren't guys. But that is how you say hello - you address everyone as a man. But that doesn't feel good.

I've thought about "Hey, gals.", "Hey, ladies", and "Hey, folks." - but none of those roll off the tongue and not everyone I know is a lady, in the Southernist of terms.

I tried just, "Hi." That just seems pathetic, like you are addressing the room, but no one knows who and so no one really responds.

Here are other greetings I have tried.

Hi, people - that seems weirdly unsettling, like some of us wouldn't be people.

Hey - hey who? It seems too casual.

Yo - well, that would never work coming out of my prissy ass white mouth.

Women - to formal.

Hey You Guys - but I can't get the image of the Electric Company out of my mind when I say that and I want to yell it.

See, a dilemma.

Well, I lucked out. I ventured out of California into the Mid-South and was able to slip into Y'all country. A friendly place where everyone is greeted on the same playing field, where it doesn't matter if you are a woman or a man - at least in the greeting!

Now I just have to figure out a good bye! Ciao, namaste, hasta, bu bye... 

Photo Credit from Slippin Southern - an Etsy Store.

 

Choose Your Weapon Thanksgiving

Our Thanksgiving menu is a bit odd this year, but I refused to fix a turkey. We just don't need that and it takes up my entire oven, leaving me with no room to cook anything else. I also refuse to make the meal the big deal. I hate cooking, having people devour food quickly, and then rush off to do something else - holidays centered around food seem to mean work for me and not a bunch of fun. So food is just part of the whole day.

Our day will consist of a photo booth where our daughter has made all kinds of props for us to take pictures. I am thinking of downloading the photo booth app, but I don't usually pay for apps. I'll have to consider that.

An official Scrabble tournament where I hope to beat the crap out of all of our guests. Really, holidays are a great time to show your verbal prowess and knowledge of two letter words. Qi anyone?

Other games as chosen by guests: currently we have Choose Your Weapon chosen by my husband in a fit of giggles last night. My choice of weapon was popcorn which, if the game is played outside, also includes chickens. Not sure how the game is played, but I am sure to win. I chose Freeze Tag where all the guests are frozen and then I can tag them at my leisure. It is my idea of a great silent moment. Our daughter says we have the wrong idea completely. More traditional choices are Rumicube, Scatagories and Yahtzee (but only because I love yelling Yahtzee).

For the meal we are having a cheese course with 5 types of cheeses. A vegetable platter to be enjoyed throughout the day. For the main meal we are having an apple walnut salad tossed with cranberry dressing, smashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, green beans, and rolls. Then for desert cherry pie and pumpkin pie in which I try to make my own crust.

I'll let everyone know how I do in Choose Your Weapon and any other pursuits we try on the day of thanks.

Challenge Met

My Challenge was to read 41 books this year. Challenge met.

The Illusive Sweetpea

This is Sweetpea. She is illusive. Beautiful. Tortured. She has her own demons that we will never understand that make her dash from the room if you look at her and she is attacked on a regular basis by our other cat Emmy. She was the love of Beau, our cat that died this year. She has been having a lot of issues and yet, she is a beauty - when she dons to let us snap a shot.

We rescued her when we were living in San Francisco. My husband really didn't want another cat, but we were smitten by her beautiful green eyes. When we went to get her at an apartment in the Haight we had to dig her out from behind the refrigerator. We should have known.

When she was ready to be fixed we knew it because she yowled for days in heat on the bottom floor of our house. We should have known.

When we moved across country my husband carried both cats in a carrier in the front of his Uhaul and she cried the entire way - 2000 miles of cat crying. We should have known.

Right now she is having issues getting down the stairs to the litter box. Not because she is skittish or unable, but because Emmy refuses to let her come downstairs. We should have known.

And all though we should have known that she was not the ideal pet I wonder what happens to animals that aren't perfect, don't meet the standard of our dream, or are just a little rough around the edges. We knew that we could never give her away - who would want her? So instead we try to make her as comfortable as possible even though we should have known better.

Patience the Blend of Life

Yesterday I had the pleasure of spending the day with my daughter. I drove over (she lives a little over an hour away now) and picked her up for a day that seemed to wind down the rabbit hole as far as time, but the company as so great it didn't really matter. Our main goal was to get a blender so that she could make smoothies. Her oral surgery has been quite the ordeal and for the last week she has been really unable to eat anything of substance - the pain, swelling, and appliance holding the false tooth makes it almost impossible.

First, though, lunch. Because of the eating issues I figured a soup might work so we headed out to Panera Bread. Tomato soup and a Greek salad in a crowded, but pleasant restaurant. It took her over an hour to eat because each bite has to be so deliberate, but we whiled away the time chatting and staring at the fact that all of the University girls wear Dolphin (or running type shorts) with giant shirts. It looks like they have no pants on or they are 5 years old wearing their mom's shirts. The crazy part is we saw tons of girls with this outfit/uniform on. After a while I just started counting them and calling out the numbers when I saw a new one. Weird how trends surface and are adopted so quickly.

Off to Kohls where, for the first time in my adult life - yes I am 42, I bought a nightgown. Two actually. They had Vera Wang on sale and I am tired of sleeping in event t-shirts so I bought myself two really cute and super soft nightgowns. What was I missing all these years?

Off to Target. Two hours. Two really long and patient bearing hours. But it was SO worth it. The blender that we found was a display model that didn't have a code, tag, price, and there were no others in boxes. It is a retro Oster with just a simple run and pulse feature. Super cute and perfect for my daughter, who collects vintage kitchen supplies. First, I tracked down one red shirted associate who couldn't help us. Then we took the blender to Guest Services and the three, sorry to say clueless, young ladies also couldn't help us and sent us back to the blender section. Another associate and his manager came and tried to track down the blender price - they couldn't. Instead they gave us the blender for $19.99 plus 15% off - it works perfectly and after a quick search on my iPhone while we were waiting I know is a $50+ blender. Two hours to save $30... totally worth it. My only skill at making this strange purchase happen was being really patient, not saying very much, and just letting the Target team figure out how to sell it to us.

Then off to Sam's club for protien powder, frozen fruit, and other goodies. A long day, and we didn't do everything we had planned, but the company really was wonderful and just getting her something that could allow her to eat - well that was worth every second.

Tallgrass Book Review

Tallgrass by Sandra Dallas
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I resisted reading Tallgrass because I thought it might be a little like a Book of the Month book and also because I am tired of books centered around WWII. I was wrong on both counts. Tallgrass is the story of a small town in Eastern Colorado on the plains that has been given (forced upon) a Japanese internment camp. The story is from the perspective of a spunky 12 year old whose family raises sugar beets.

This family drama is played out at quilting bee's, on dusty roads, in Denver when streetcars ruled the roads, in classrooms, and dirty shops. It captures the time of desperation during the war - with rations, dealing with the Japanese, and family problems that don't seem to change much over the years. People are people whether they go to the Methodist church, farm fields, are "foreigners", are fighting wars, or are just figuring out how to make due.

Rennie, the 12 year old, sees it all and talks plainly to her obviously liberal leaning father and family. Through her eyes we are taken down dark paths of rape, drug addiction, and murder. And although the subjects are gritty what doesn't escape the reader is the fact that the women of the story band together during all kinds of tragedy. And slowly the whole town begins to soften - at least until they pick up new things to hate along the way.

Well crafted this book is a fast read and perfect for the book club set. It allows for conversation to flow about race, family, tragedy, and the idea that women have the capacity to care far more than their pocketbooks seem to allow. A period piece that is one WWII story that was refreshingly new.

View all my reviews

Engineer Your Life for Happiness

What if life isn't as complicated as we make it? Yes, there are trials and we don't have everything that we want. That is a given, but what if the everyday isn't so hard?

It seems to me that we know things that make us happy, but we deny ourselves those things. Sometimes we have to because of circumstance, but sometimes we just don't do them because we fill our our lives with other stuff. What if, instead, we made a list of the things that we knew made us happy and started living that way?

For instance, I like quiet mornings, walking with friends, helping my husband do the dishes, reading, shopping by myself, and having coffee with my daughter. Yes. I know simple things. I am not talking about huge things because I know that the small things make life happier.

Recently I saw a quote somewhere about fun being transient and happiness being transcendental - or something like that. It is true, I am not a fun seeker. In fact, just the other day my daughter and I were supposed to go explore a nearby city, see friends, shop in a little boutique, but when the day came we decided what would make us happier would be to run some errands, have tea on the couch, and have a nice dinner at home. We probably would have fun exploring, but it would have also felt forced or made us feel rushed around by not doing the things we actually needed to be doing. You know, that aching feeling you have in the back of your mind when you have something you need to be done, that isn't getting done because you are doing something else. We didn't want that feeling.

What I think might be really useful is to sit down and explore on paper what makes you actually happy. What 10 simple things do you actually enjoy, make your life feel fuller or give you a sense of happiness. It may be working out in the evening instead of in the morning, dinner with your family, having your bills paid on time, making sure you top off your gas tank so it never gets below half - whatever it is that leads to an ease or comfort for you, write those things down.

Then, what would your life look like if you started engineering it to fit those needs? What if you got up earlier to do yoga, made time each week to walk with friends, or didn't schedule any meetings before 10AM. Whatever it is for you I think this would work whether you were ultimately more in control of your life (I am a rare breed that sets all of my own hours (or I engineered it that way)) or if you had a more 9-5ish job. You still have control of how your interact with people, how you show up, how you spend your free time - ultimately it is your life. Are you making it as happy as you can? What small things could you be doing differently? I know I am going to start looking at mine over the course of the next few weeks, because this is the only life I get.

Image: I found this online a while ago, but have lost the original resource. If it is yours please let me know so I can credit you. I love it so!

Rainbow Spotting

I'm sorry. These may possibly be the best words of a marriage. Or in any relationship. If someone is willing to say they are sorry there are good things happening. It is when we get stubborn, indignant, or callous that sorry doesn't happen.

We have been having a tremendous amount of stress at our house. The roof is leaking, the gutters are splashing water back on the house, the concrete got wet when it was supposed to be dry, we have to come up with an inordinate amount of money for our daughters scheduled dental care... on and on.

This can make a family a little crabby - as stated the other day. But to say I'm sorry, it isn't you, it really is me - makes it all so much better. We all have different capacities to handle things and we all reach our breaking point at different times. This week, my husband and I, just happened to reach it at the same time. All I can say is, thank goodness for rainbows and sorry. They make the world a better place.

Photo I took driving on the highway home. Yes, I know I shouldn't shoot photos and drive, but I am a serious Rainbow Spotter!

A #CouchCritics Look at BookPerk.com

As a total Book Nerd (and as Tom from Parks & Recreation so eloquently took back the word Nerd as part of the zeitgeist last night, swoon) I had to take part in the testing of BookPerk.com. Seriously, if you love books and you like swag this might be a place made in heaven just for you.

BookPerk.com is "Bookperk is a site for all of us book lovers. For the first time, readers get access to exclusive merchandise and experiences from their favorite authors and books." Which is kind of cool - there are autographed copies, movie posters, tote bags... that kind of thing. If you dig books this makes sense - if you aren't a reader this kind of swag would not entice you. I suppose they are counting on us  die hard book fans. I can totally see a Twilight thing signed by anyone associated going really fast... people are really into their particular books and authors! It was worth checking out and I wanted to see if it was a it for me.

So, when I got the Green Light from #Cbias and #CouchCritics I headed over, signed in with my Facebook username (yes, I know that gives them access to your life, but it is easier then trying to remember a million passwords). That takes you to the Perk Page, or what they call Current Offers.

At first I was a little disappointed. There are only a few books with perks and none of the books looked like they would be something I would want to read. I am not a big RomCom kind of gal and I don't really want to read biographies from television stars. After narrowing down my purchase I chose Russell Brand's book Booky Wook, but I didn't purchase it. Instead, I waited until today.

Mistake.

The perk ended and I had to find some other book. Grrr.... not to them, but to me and my procrastination.

Back to the drawing board. Still not into the TV Personality Lit so I looked at a book I would actually never choose...Reamde by Neal Stephenson. First it is a novel. I like novels. Second I liked the cover, yes I am shallow. Third it came with a t-shirt I could give to my husband, yes I am practical.

But before I clicked the buy button I headed over to Amazon to read more about the book and the Author. Well, he is a big deal. A really big deal. This book was listed as the September Best Book of the Month. So, I purchased the futurist novel... who knows I might like it. It at least seems to be a bit more weighty then the Susan Lucci offering - sorry Susan. Maybe I should call myself #BookSnob not #BookNerd!

Anyway, I made my purchase.

Then got an email saying that there were enough people who bought it that the perk would happen. "Dear, Your Bookperk order #12345 is now being processed: enough people have purchased the offer, so the deal is on! You will receive an email when payment has gone through and your offer has shipped." I hadn't realized that there had to be a certain number of purchasers - weird. Everyone wants to be Groupon now... whatever, I am getting the book and that is a good thing.

When I get the book I'll review it... and you can see if you would want it... I'll pass it on to you! Can you say CONTEST! Why? Because, normally, I only buy nonfiction. Seriously. I figure that anything that is fiction I can borrow from the library and I don't need to own it. Sure, I have some classics, but they are classics (justified). Current fiction isn't usually worth keeping - for me. We live in a really small house and need to be careful not to get to overflowing... so YOU could be the lucky winner of this tome. After I read and review, of course!

This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias. #CBias. Sure, I may be paid, but anyone can tell you I am going to tell the truth.

I'm in Love with a Knife

I am in love. With a knife. I have been using the same crappy knives that we bought 20 years ago that had never been sharpened. I don't think they could even BE sharpened. They came in one of those butcher block knife storage things as a set. A cheap set.

And I have gotten by with them. For 20 years.

Until I decided I was worth a real knife.

Now, you know, people can't buy you knives because it will sever the relationship. Yes, old wives tale, but I didn't want to jink the precariousness of my relationship with my husband and have him get me a knife for a present.

So, for my 42nd birthday this year I bought the Victorinox Chef Knife. They are the Swiss Army knife folks and this knife was rated #1 by Cook's Magazine.

And it is freaking amazing.

Seriously, it cuts things like everything is butter.

I had no idea what I was missing, but I had been hacking away at things. I had sawed, clawed and chewed vegetables, meat, and, even, butter for years. When I could have been in slicing heaven with Victor... which is what I call my new kitchen friend.

I am in love and for $25 bucks plus shipping you could be too.

I get nothing if you buy it... I just wanted to share my new romance with you.