MoxieLife

The New Little Rock 9 - Health Care in Arkansas

I live in a state where the federal government had to force the people to integrate. The brave souls of the Little Rock 9 had to walk through a crowd of people who were jeering, yelling and displaying rage and hate. Their act is considered one of the most important features of the civil rights movement and it happened in a place where the majority of the people didn't want it to happen. They were forced to be fair.

Knowing that I look at the landscape of people shouting about health care and I wonder if this is a similar case. A case where the people will need to be forced to do the right thing. My senators are both reluctant to vote for health care, even though a large percentage of our states population are already on some form of federal health care system (AR Kids, Medicare). They are afraid that those that oppose the "right" to health care won't vote for them and that their jobs will be lost over this decision. I say that they need to stand up and do the right thing and that sometimes the people need to be forced - an unfortunate thing, but one that has been proven in our states history.

We all have the opportunity to be on the right side of this debate and go down in history as a people who cares for the whole - or we can stand on the sidelines and shout hatred. The choice is ours to make - or it will be made for us.

Getting Comfortable

I have been thinking lately of the idea around comfort. Why people need/want comfort. Where they get comfort. What are comforting thoughts. Of course, my thinking swirls around people who need god as part of their comfort and why I don't need that. And how I feel about them needing that.

It is true that I don't need the comfort of knowing there is a plan, god, or divine reason for anything that happens. I am comfortable knowing that it is either a process or just random chaos. Either way is fine with me. I am not sure WHY that is fine with me, but it is. I lose no sleep knowing that bad things happen, people die, or the world doesn't work the way I want it to. Granted I fret over those things day to day as they happen, but it is ok that there isn't some divine plan making them happen that way.

It seems though that other people need to think there is a divine plan. They need to know there is a reason for both good and bad. They need god.

A part of me, and I have discussed this before, thinks that this is a childish need (don't berate me again about it.). My thought is that they are either trying to replicate the loving father/mother that they had or grasping for one that they didn't have on a large scale. That would mean, to me, that they haven't processed those needs that developed very young and are attached to them. Which, on some level, is fine because we all are where we are.

I also think that some people just have a need to have answers... and god and the comfort of having a god who is in control at some level provides those answers.  I wonder if on some level there isn't so much a god gene, but rather a need for comfort gene. Or a need for answers gene.

So, where do I find comfort? In my friends, in knowing I have tried my best, in sleep, in rice pudding. Simple things bring me great comfort. I don't look outside much (except for that pudding)... I try to tap the well within that can bring me both comfort and suffering. It seems to replenish at a rapid rate and is always accessible.

What about you? Where do you find comfort? Do you need comfort?

A little Atheist News - good and bad

The Bad:

Just a quick post - do you all know about what is happening in New Mexico? A fellow UU is having to DEFEND himself as a Unitarian and, quite frankly, is losing. Sad news for reason.

The Good:

You can't discriminate against an Atheist. Which is a good thing.

JUST ADDED:

A NEW NOT SO GOOD:

At the Intermediate school where my daughter is assisting in the classroom (she is a sophomore education major) she saw this in the office. Now the question is do I, or don't I, write a note to the principal saying that this is inappropriate. Thoughts?

What are you for?

Often ideas come to me from many sources all at once - serendipity, I guess. When it happens though it makes me want to slow down and pay attention to the concept. This one was: what are you for?

A few nights ago my husband was reading Sam Harris where he talks about not being against something rather just state what you are for. For instance, don't say you are Atheist say you subscribe to Reason.

Then today I was walking through the living room and the television was on with Wayne Dyer on it. He was talking to Bonnie Hunt about what you are FOR is where your energy will go. His example was we have wars on drugs and we have a huge drug problem, we are having a war on terrorism and terror is still happening. He quoted Mother Theresa from the 60's when asked if she would attend an anti-war rally and she declined saying to invite her to a pro-peace one instead.

I see from ALL the comments on my blog that the language of "anti" or against something doesn't move people closer. In fact, I think it makes us all dig our heals in a little further. Although it is no secret my opinions can be pretty radical I would like to think that I am a compassionate caring woman who wants to build bridges not create wars.

What I am hearing from the above message is to share what I DO care/love/cherish/believe not what I don't. When I think about that I can say I am:

• Pro-People
• Pro-Peace
• Pro-Passion

So far three P's... what about you? What are you FOR?

Is there no room in the UUA for an Athiest?

A blogger I respect although rarely, of late, agree with writes this:

"What does this mean for humanist UU’s? I think it’s possible for non-theists to accept that some spiritual force greater than ourselves calls us out of our individual concerns to do the work of growing, healing, serving, learning, celebrating, grieving and repenting."

on her blog.

I think it is a huge leap for members of my denomination to expect me to warp my view of both humanism and atheism to accept a "force greater" in our lives. If I were to suggest that they move their idea of God to the realm of fairy tale I think they would be offended. And so these two parties are supposed to gather together each Sunday - a difficult thing indeed.

For those not aware, I grew up Unitarian in Southern California. I was raised by humanists who did not believe in a god. I tried to believe in god for years - to fit in - but that just left me feeling more at odds with myself. In the 60's the Unitarians and the Universalists joined together. My father was never for that joining because he believed that the Universalist influence of heaven and god would water down his position of humanism. His church stayed a Unitarian church because they all felt that way.

I, though, have moved around the country and have experienced our congregations in the West, North & South and they are moving into a new age of spirituality - they are seeking to become a place where seekers covene. Which is fine except when they ask me to change my view... which I feel they would like very much.

During my daughters high school years she was very active in church - and we went every Sunday. Since she started college last year I have for a number of reasons stopped going. I like the people, but I can't get motivated to go. I asked her why we weren't going this summer when she was home and she said, "because they believe in god and we don't."

So, my question to my fellow UU's is why can't there be room for those of us who come from the long tradition of humanists? Why must we change to your needs? I am a second generation UU, my daughter a third and it feels like that might be the end of the line for our family. Is that ok with the UUA? Is that ok with you?

Random Thought Thursday: guns in public, fighting friends, writing on the wall...

To prove that I am not totally narcissistic - well, not completely, here are some other thoughts that I have had throughout the last week. OK, they are all in relation to me. I can't help it.:

Guns in Public:

You may know that I have the irrational fear of being shot in public - I am sure I have mentioned it at sometime. It all stems from the first "random shooting" when I was a kid at a McDonald's in San Diego. I just couldn't imagine someone getting mad about their fry order and shooting someone. Anyway, I am often on edge in public places: the DMV, hospitals, the bank - anywhere that someone can get angry. Well, the shooting lastyear at a UU church in Tennessee was enough to be an issue for me returning to church. I just don't want to be in a place that could be seen as the object of someones hate. Now with the man in Arizona bringing a semiautomatic gun to a town hall meeting I am not sure how I feel about stepping out and speaking my mind in public. Doesn't anyone else see that by allowing people to have guns everywhere there are more chances of people getting shot - sigh.

Fighting Friends:

I know two people in my community who are currently using public forums to discuss what is essentially a neighbor problem. One friend feeds the deer and the other is trying to grow a garden. So, instead of talking to one another they are using our local government, forums, and paper to state their case. I know both of these women. I respect both of them. They both work very hard for the "right" thing for the community. I wish though that they would work together to find a solution as neighbors - rather then making it a public debate. The question is do I intervene or do I just watch it happen? Sigh.

Writing on the Wall

Our family lived at EastWind 10 years ago - an intentional community in Missouri and they had a "system" for airing opinions, grievances, talking, sharing called the Back Wall. This was a place that people posted constructive ideas as well as slander. At the time I felt it was probably the worst form of communication I had ever seen or experienced. It is so easy to write something rather than talk with someone. So, when we left I was so happy to have that out of my life. Well, 7 years ago we moved to a small town that has the equivalent of the Back Wall, an online forum where people rant and rave and share poor information. Sometimes it is useful, but for the most part I don't think that it moves the conversation forward. Sigh.

Spurned Woman has something to say.

Recently I became aware of an epidemic hitting our little Victorian Village - divorce and separation. It seems that although we may live in one of the wedding capitals of the nation we are taking a hit in our own marriage population. I never thought that I would be part of that particular scourge, but apparently like the 1918 flu anyone can be taken down.

I am obviously not a spokesperson for how to handle a separation or divorce from your spouse or partner - I haven't really even talked about it publicly (interesting that I don't consider this public). Because I don't really know that status of my relationship (another subject for another day) I didn't want to go around sharing the intimate details of what was happening.

Until a friend completely fell apart after her husband had an affair.

Then folks - I found my inner voice and told her like it was.

Here to preach it for you - Spurned Woman

We are not victims. Bad things happen. People in our lives do stupid things, but it is our CHOICE to have them in our life or not. No one dictates who we cohabitate with - not even our husbands. We CHOOSE how we start and finish our relationships.

And we can do this. We can be women alone. We can be women with children alone. We can get up everyday and do what needs to be done. We were people before we were married and we will continue to be people - no act of cruelty, stupidity, or mental illness can take that away from us.

So, ladies, seek professional help to look at every crevice and give you the skills to put your socks on in the morning. Have tantrums in the shower. Scream in your car. Cry with a friend. I won't even start telling you about how your children are counting on you (you KNOW that).

But every morning get up and start again - and hopefully someday that will seem normal.

What am I doing, wanting what I have, and the metaphor of Easter.

I am slowly finding my focus - thanks for all the great suggestions. I do think it involves staying active and I also think you have to remember what you are doing in the first place. I tell people in business to focus on what their goals are all the time, but I suppose I forgot what I was doing. I needed to remember that I am gaining clarity (even when it seems I am stuck in the mud), regaining my balance (even when rugs are pulled out from under me), and designing my response system (much different then my reaction system). These are big things.

I have been reading Love and Death by Forrest Church and his motto:

Want what you have. Do what you can. Be who you are.

seems just about perfect.

I am a big believer in wanting what I have. I am not much of a craver - little things, but if I let the craving pass it just dissipated. I am most often grateful for the smallest of things in life - I suppose this came easily after my brothers death over 20 years ago. You realize that life really is short and liking what you have is so much easier then wanting what you can't possibly get. It is also probably a reflection of growing up lower middle class in a world of money - I just KNEW I wasn't going to get more so why feel as if I didn't have enough... just like what you did have. It just made life easier.

More later on doing and being!

Until then I hope you are relishing in your Good Friday - granted it leads to the ultimate death scene, but there is great salvation in that - I like to think of it as a metaphor for each day - the sun dies and is reborn each morning allowing us one more day on this beautiful temporary planet.

Are you naughty or nice?

Are you naughty or nice? I have been thinking about an ongoing observation that I have had with conversations online - the naughty ones. No, not porn, fetishes, or dirty talk - I am talking about people being snarky.

I know, the pot calling the kettle black, but I am concerned that we might have an epidemic happening in culture. The culture of snark.

We are mean, biting, down right rude to other people on their blogs rather then taking a moment and considering how they would talk to them in person.

We aren't questioning our behavior only the writing/ideas of those we comment on. We are judgmental and unkind.

All of this is a pattern - I think we are wounded people. All of us. Every single one of us and rather then work through our own issues (yeah, I know another pot and kettle) we are lashing out innapropriately.

The real problem is that it is acceptable. Even welcomed in some circles to be a harsh as possible.

This concerns me that we are building or shaping a society that tolerates this reptilian behavior. It is almost as if the sharper the comment the brighter we think the author. There is something wrong with this and I would love to hear your thoughts - we have the opportunity to shape culture and perhaps this is one area that we could offer guidance.

Perhaps it is as easy as Stop, Think, Write, Delete.

MY Jesus is WAY better then your Jesus, of that I am sure

As a confirmed pretty comfortable Atheist I have an unusual relationship with Jesus. First and foremost I think he rocks. MY Jesus is WAY better then your Jesus, of that I am sure. So, who is MY Jesus? MY Jesus is a man who lived a really long time ago. His mom got knocked up by a guy who she wasn't married to and they decided to create this incredible story about his birth. It worked. It protected her, the dad and the kid from being pushed out of their religious community.

So, MY Jesus went on to live his life learning to be a carpenter. I don't think he really liked being a carpenter. In fact, I think he screwed up a lot which made him realize he better find something else to do because this was not his passion.

He decided to go on a road trip and see the world. At that time the world was mostly flat and consisted of where you could walk, ride a donkey or grab a lift on a caravan. He chose to walk and traveled along the east learning about those old time religious attitudes carried by the Hindu's and Buddhists. He really liked the idea that there wasn't some angry God that Judged everything. He also liked that enlightenment could come to you. The food was pretty good too.

When MY Jesus came back to his hometown his family could see that he had changed. He didn't want to follow the customary rules anymore. He didn't want to do anything that they wanted him to do and he kept talking about love. Since they didn't get him he went to hang out with some of the less exemplary community members. The prostitutes got love - they knew that men were looking for it but didn't know how or where to find it. They also introduced him to other outcasts who were open to listening to his ideas about God not being some mean old guy out to get you - there was another way through love to reach god. That was great for some of the less rule abiding members of the community.

So, MY Jesus told the Rule Makers that they weren't necessary anymore. They could, in fact, take their rules and shove them up their... well, you know. He also told them to give their money to the poor. He knew that seeking riches wasn't going to make you happy. Happiness came through love. Only love. Now, these are radical thoughts because the Rule Makers liked to count money and charge money and deal in money. You can't really count love. So they got kind of mad at MY Jesus. They realized that he threatened their way of life and he had to die. What they weren't counting on was him being this major martyr. That didn't work out very well for them.

So, where is MY Jesus today. Well, dead. He was just a man with a radical idea. An idea so radical that very few follow it. It is way hard actually to live fully in love. To give more then you take. If I am wrong and he is really the son of their God and he comes back MY Jesus is going to be pissed. He is going to smite - yep smite. He really isn't into those big churches collection big salaries to spread his word because his word is free. The word remember is love and that doesn't cost a dime. The good thing is that he can find these churches SO easily because they have GIANT crosses (more on that in a minute) in front and inside. He will use those as his guide to where to smite. It is so nice that they created these giant beacons for him to find.

The crosses - MY Jesus hates them. He can't really figure out why anyone would celebrate torture and death. Remember that is what they did to him. They tortured him by hanging him from a cross after beating him in the town square - really this isn't a thing to celebrate. If his message is love then why would the cross be the celebration or symbol? MY Jesus doesn't like the cross, enough said.

So, MY Jesus rocks. My Jesus loves you, you and you. In fact that is all he asks us to do is love. Love, forgive, care, be passionate, feel, and love again. I love MY Jesus.