I am way more introverted than people usually guess. So the prospect of going to a conference is something I have to carefully consider. Will it be too taxing? Will I feel to uncomfortable? Will I not fit in? Going to a conference of women in Arkansas has special considerations for me. Will I be the only atheist? Will I be the only one with grown children? Will I relate? I have a natural fear of other women due to overexposure to the crazy mean women I have encountered. So, all of this gets put in the pot as I reflect on whether I want/need to go.
I went to the Arkansas Womens Blogger Conference #AWBU last year as a speaker and was completely overshadowed by the need/desire of everyone to learn how to blog for money. I was dumbfounded. It isn't my personal realm and I felth that the thoughtful things I had to say about actually writing real words and creating real relationships were not wanted/needed/appreciated. Which at the time I was puzzled by, but now I get... people want a get rich/famous fast track and my slow way will never satisfy that. Fine.
So, I wasn't sure how I felt about going this year. I hemmed and hawed. And then I realized that my loneliness at living in the boondocks outweighed every single negative thing I could think of about going. So, I called in a favor for a room and paid the registration.
I'm going because I made friends last year. I'm going because they are still my friends a year later despite my curmudgeon ways. I'm going because after my sister died it was them that sent me a note. I'm going because you can't build slow community and relationships hiding behind your computer.
I am thrilled to note that we are going to the Ozark Folk Center, a place I have only heard about, and that Country Outfitters thinks these blogging ladies need boots to look their very best in that picturesque setting. I've picked out mine and when I get back I'll be giving another pair away.
Sometimes you have to stop thinking about all the reasons you can't do something and just do it. That is what I'll be doing this weekend. Just me and my boots!